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You might be a Liberal if.... Answered

Posted Tuesday, October 12, 2010, at 11:39 PM

I felt compelled to answer the blog posted by another blogger which attempts to completely confuse and anger people that may not actually know what a liberal is. More importantly to leave the charges unanswered would just be so un-me (no not technically a word but this is the blogosphere).

I have included the original blog with my statements bolded:

You might be a liberal if...

*You've had three abortions but you are so proud that you recycle aluminum cans. Here the user is trying to convince people that getting abortions for liberals is as routine as recycling. The truth, however, is the most liberals hate the idea of abortion as much as conservatives. Where we differ is the we believe that an individual woman has the right to at least the decision as to whether or not have an abortion. In the end it is between her, her doctor, and her god

*You believe Glenn Beck is a extremist because Keith Olbermann told you so.I could here go into a very long rant about all the misinformation Rush Limbaugh has espoused over the years but that is too easy and just too 90s. I do not personally believe (as most liberals) that Glenn Beck believes most of what he says. He is a shock jock that knows his audience so he plays to them

*You believe in the separation of Church and State; Mosque and State, not so much.This is one is just wild. I am assuming that the difference between Church and Mosque is the allusion in the belief that Liberals hate Christianity but love Islam. Seeing how one of the biggest lies of all time is "All Liberals are atheists" this would not work. Liberals believe in the separation of Church and State whether it be Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc. We believe that Constitution protects the Church from the tyranny of the state and vice-versa.

*You believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment. I do not know which site originally came up with this statement but they should have spent a little more time with it because it just does not make any sense. If you can show me one person (liberal, conservative, whatever) that actually believes that hurricanes are caused by people then I will show you an evil genius. As for the crime part, what crime is being referenced?

*You believe that college students must protest the President, but never challenge anything the professor says.Again this comes from the magical world of make-believe. In college students are actually taught to challenge their professors. It is actually part of learning.

*You believe that African American, Gay and Women's Studies prepare young people for good careers, but a Biology major is an outdated relic of white misogynist domination. Along with the "All Liberals are atheists" comes the line "All Liberals believe in science as a religion". If that is true then why in the world would Liberals have anything bad to say about Biology? I know the crafters of these lines were trying to be funny but they could have at least made a little sense.

*You believe that meat is bad for you. So is milk. But marijuana gets you ready for your finals.No that would be straight up dope heads who believe that marijuana also helps them drive better.

*You believe that global cooling for the past ten years proves there is global warming.No we believe that wild climate changes over the past ten years proves climate change. At least keep up with the times and the jargon.

*You think that treating all people equally, regardless of race, is racist. Another make-believe world message. If you treat all people equally, regardless of race, then you are not a racist. If you treat an entire race of people differently because of their race, that is racist. Everyone clear on that?

*You burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that sanctions the cleanest nation on Earth.I sure hope this is not a reference to the United States because we are not even in the realm of being the cleanest nation in the world. Until they invent a fuel that can run a jet that does not burn carbon people have little choice but to burn carbon.

*You think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and yet you refuse to listen to any other possibility.Well, yeah. That is a duh statement. No but that pretty much describes 100% of Congress don't you think?

*You believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in their own capitol city of Jerusalem.Since there isn't a mosque being built at Ground Zero this is just a baseless and hateful comment directed at muslims. The situation in Jerusalem is a little more complex as that.

*You believe that prostitution empowers women, but having a man open the door for a woman is degrading.Make-believe land again. I doubt anyone could ever find anyone (again regardless of political ideology) that would make that bold a statement, except of course the original person who made the claim.

*Your dog is named Jeff, but your children are named Spot, Mogadishu and Apple.I really want to meet the mothers who named their children Spot.

*Your dog is smaller than your cat.How does this fit into ideology again? I am not a big fan of cats though, I have a house full of dogs. I guess according to the author of this quote I am not a liberal. Okay GI I will hand in my Liberal card on Friday.

*You believe that Western women suffer at the hands of men, but Islamic women are greatly respected.Yes that's why they are require to wear garments over 95% of their body. These guys are horrible at writing. By this point they obviously were not even trying anymore.

*If your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Bush's fault."Of course the opposite of this is "You might be a conservative if your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Clinton's fault.

*You believe that being Pro-Life violates right of privacy, but you want to tell people they can't eat french fries.Never heard this claim ever. I believe what they are confused with is telling a woman on her way into a doctor's office that her getting an abortion is sin is a violation of her privacy (whether she is going in to get an abortion or not). I say eat all the french fries you want but do not think for one second when your heart valves shut because of all the crap in them from friends that I am going to offer up any of my taxes to ensure that you get proper care!

*You believe that immersing a crucifix in urine is fine art, but depicting the Mohammad is insensitive.Where exactly did this happen? Art is one of those tricky subjects. My mother is an art teacher and I still don't get most of what people consider art. The whole depicting Mohammad thing was brought on by the Muslims, not liberals.

*You spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, then drive home to your gated community.This is part of that whole mythical "Liberal elite" I keep hearing about isn't it? But hey as soon as that fence starts working let me know.

*The only time you use the word "choice" is when it comes to abortion. School Choice, or the choice to shop at Wal-Mart should be prevented.I do not recall anyone ever being told they can not shop at Wal-Mart. Heck, I am there every week.

*You think that men who are aroused by women's breasts are freaks, but homosexuality is completely normal.Again this is from make-believe land and if I should venture a guess seems to be authored by a homosexual to begin with.

*You think gay students should be allowed to publicly kiss in class, but Christians shouldn't be allowed to quietly pray during a break. During a break from what? I assume this is regarding the myth that prayer is not allowed in school. I have covered this many times as a teacher. It's a myth and not a very good one. Personally I do not like PDA whether it's from a straight, gay, or animal couple

*None of the Constitutional Rights you believe in are actually written in the Constitution. Could you name a few of these Constitutional Rights YOU BELIEVE that liberals believe. I'm fairly sure that my favorite amendment is in there. Yep lookie there right up front, First Amendment.

*You argue that teenagers can't control their sexual urges no matter what we do, but you think that child molesters and rapists can control themselves after counseling.Teenagers can't control their sexual urges and simply telling them to wait does absolutely nothing from stopping them from doing so. This does bring up and interesting question. Whoever wrote this obviously believed that telling teens not to do something will prevent them from doing so, but telling adults not to do something will not prevent them. Basically they believe teenagers to be more responsible than adults.

*You believe that four year old babies should be frisked at the airport because focusing on nervous young Arabs would be discriminatory.Who these writers have apparently just at this point handed over writing to a monkey. Who has ever suggested that a four year be frisked? That was not even worthy of being put on this list, as bad as this list is.

*You think that Hezbollah is a legitimate political party, but Republicans are just a bunch a racist haters who should never be exposed to college students.No argument there. Of course I am kidding. This is just plain childish at this point. We believe Hezbollah to be as legitimate as the Nazi Party (never mind that the majority of people voted for them in their country).

*You claim that you are not unpatriotic, but you can't remember that last time you sided with the United States ... on anything ... against any country.Actually I have and will always side with the United States. I may not support the decisions of my government but it will always be my country over another. I also know the difference between being patriotic and being uber-patriotic.

*Truth matters much less than feelings.Actually I agree with this one, so moving on

*You are more proud of Obama's race than of John McCain's refusal to leave his buddies behind in a Vietnamese prison.No I am proud of John McCain's record in the war, I am not proud of his record since the war and his reversal on torture. I am proud of Obama because his ideals are similar to me. Boy for people that keep saying that race has nothing to do with anything why would they bring race up in the first place.

*You believe that all recounts must continue until the Democrat takes the lead, and not a second longer.Actually the reverse of that happened in the 2000 presidential election. At least in that count we were angry over a couple of thousand votes and not declaring that a candidate that won by over 8.5 million votes somehow stole the election.

*You believe that Babs Streisand knows more about politics than Newt Gingrich. Ahh they finally hit comedy gold. Of course the fact that most people know more about politics than Newt Gingrich helps the joke.

*You believe that conservatives need to be rounded up and put into in camps to prevent them from acting like Nazis. Actually didn't Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann make those claims? Thought so. This is par for the course though. A conservative made a wild claim about a liberal so it must be true.

*You think that people are having too many kids, yet you need those kids to pay your government debts.Um, what? This doesn't even make sense. This must be the point where the monkey handed the keyboard over to the elephant.

*You think banks earning money on interest is wrong, but paying interest to China on the national debt is just peachy.Hey Bush did it so why can't we?

*If you ran low on your Valium the weekend Glenn Beck had the Restoring Honor Rally.Is there more to this statement? I mean who would have needed Valium anyways, Glenn Beck did well enough to put me to sleep.

*You claim Sarah Palin was too inexperienced to be VP but you have no problem thinking that the community agitator Obama had plenty of experience to be President.Hey at least the community agitator (or in grown-up land also known as organizer) knew what the President did. If you feel comfortable voting for someone to be VP who didn't even know what the office did, then that's your hang up.

*You really want to travel to India to study spiritualism there, but you wouldn't be caught dead in a church here in America.And the "All liberals are atheists" meme rears its ugly head again.

*You claim that Math tests are racist, but there is nothing racist about blacks being admitted over more qualified white applicants.This is a new one for me. Actually, since you obviously have no idea what affirmative action was it was designed so that the most qualified person was hired not just simply based on race. The fact that some agencies took it too far is unfortunately a fact of life. The idea failed, but at least we are trying. What have you done lately?

*You work to ensure that People should be allowed to euthanize themselves, but not to eat in McDonald's. Who is this People that this person is talking about. They must be as omnipotent as God or as important as a president. Seriously though, if people want to eat at McDonald's that's their choice. My choice is the #6 no onions, no pickles, with a coke.

*You think that Black dominance in basketball is progress, but white dominance in swimming is an outrage.Okay here in adult time there is a lot of confusion on this statement because I for one have never hear either part of this phrase. The giraffe must have the pen now.

*You think that Europe became great because of Islamic influences. Personally I believe Europe became great because of every influence. That's just me. Same goes for the United States.

*You cry about racial profiling yet you think that all serial killers are white and all Mexicans are hard working family men. Yes and you think all Mexicans are illegals and all blacks kill people. See how seriously immature both statements are? Let's forget for a second that the vast majority of serial killers are indeed white and that the vast majority of Mexicans are hard working family men, what exactly is the point of this statement?

*You think that anytime a Western woman travels to the Middle East, she should respect their Islamic traditions and cover up. As Muslims have illegally infiltrated Europe, you think they have the right to expect Westerners to adjust to them, or the Muslims should riot.Okay really the seal really needs to rephrase this statement. I have a feeling that the seal was combining thoughts at the last second. It's funny though, you believe that all foreigners coming into this country should obey our customs and learn our language but we don't own them the same when we go to their country? Can you tell me why this does not work. Muslims illegally infiltrated Europe? Really? So the fact that Muslims were in Europe long before most the countries in Europe were formed means nothing to you?

*You believe that Counseling is the proper punishment for all crimes except sexual harassment and racism.The seal is having real issues writing. This statement makes no sense. In reality all crimes should have counseling as part of the recovery.

*If you really believe that Barack Obama has the best interests of the United States in his heart.Remember a few stanzas up where you were talking about being unpatriotic if you don't support the United States? You don't? Well then this stanza makes absolute sense. If you don't believe that our president doesn't have the best interests of this country in his heart, do you mind if I go ahead and call you one of the most unpatriotic people I have ever met? Are you that partisan that you would actually suggest that a president was trying to undermine this country? This is a serious accusation yet I know with no doubt in my mind that you are hee-hawing thinking this is just a gas of a joke. I don't think it's funny, most people don't think it's funny. Liberals did not think this of Bush (you can protest all you want but it's true). Did we believe he made some serious mistakes and missteps? Absolutely. We NEVER once questioned his love for his country, though. Sadly that's more than I can say for you

*You believe the government can run health care even though they have bankrupted Medicare and Social Security. Since Medicare and Social Security are not broke and are in no danger of going broke than yes I believe that the government can run health care.

Most of these were somewhat funny. The one about Babs and Newt still cracks me up every time I read it. As for the questioning of where President Obama's heart is, I take that seriously. I do not know where the original quote came from but it is absolutely disgusting and appalling. You may not agree with his policies, that's fine. He may not agree with his ideologies, that too is fine. When you question the man's heart though is where I draw the line. I do not often tell people that what they believe is wrong. I will argue with them as to why what I believe may have more merit, but in this case I will say. If you question where President Obama's heart is, especially when it comes to this great country of ours I will tell you straight to your face that YOU ARE WRONG

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Mike - why don't you try your hand at the market? If you were to study it you might actually be decent at it.

I am serious. It is a noble persuit as you risk your own money. All it is is noticing trends and following them and allocating capital on a risk reward basis and avoiding gambler's ruin.

It does take a few years of study but you have proven that you can "stay on point" for a long period of time.

My brother and I only spend about an hr a day working on it and we average about 30% a year.

We are great record keepers and we write things down so we can show what we were thinking and teach from our past.

As an example my brother came out with his $72 oil call in 2/2000 with a 5-7 year time horizon. We put together a portfolio during the bear market of 2001-2003 that went up 400% into the sell signal in 2008.

We started to get bullish on gold in 1999. We have been riding that train for 11 years.

There are long term tradable trends that are developing now.

Something you should think about.

This particular blog was the one that convinced me you might be good at this. You obviously are willing to spend the time and research to back up your points.

That thick skin is required in the market as in many cases I am early in a trade, get poked fun at for being wrong, wait a few years than everyone called it an obvious deal. The key is to risk enough capital to not go broke then wait.

Consider it.


-- Posted by wallismarsh on Wed, Oct 13, 2010, at 6:15 AM

"what a coward" ????

What does that have to do with anything?

I am a liberal, have always been a liberal. My dogs are labradors.

-- Posted by Grandma B on Wed, Oct 13, 2010, at 9:49 AM

That's the one thing that puzzled me most Grandma B. Most of the list seemed aimed more at what Governor Schwarzenegger would call "girly men" instead of at liberals as a whole.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Wed, Oct 13, 2010, at 10:03 AM

The more serious problem with this list is that there is a fair amount of people who buy into most of this list without any question.

When people actually think that liberalism is a disease or that liberals treat liberalism as a religion, which has been stated many times right here on this website we have much bigger issues than simply partisan political bickering. We have an entire segment of a population that, in reality, look down on us simply because what we believe.

In the end they will try to pass it all off as a joke, but honestly I think it is a sick, classless, and immature joke that needs to be laid to rest.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Wed, Oct 13, 2010, at 12:49 PM

So I went trolling through the two websites that were listed along with the original blog and I found the one true statement. I am kind of surprised that it wasn't listed on the blog.

You might be a liberal if . . .

. . . you think the problem is that Obama is just too darn moderate.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Wed, Oct 13, 2010, at 2:45 PM

You might be a liberal if... you have thin skin. Learn to role with punches. I think Sam does this to get your goat, so far he is doing a good job.

-- Posted by Keda46 on Thu, Oct 14, 2010, at 12:04 AM

Hey as soon as they stop lying I'll roll with the punches.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Thu, Oct 14, 2010, at 6:46 AM

I love that theme though Keda. All conservatives are kidding and all liberals need to take the joke because EVERYONE knows that no one really believes that stuff.

Of course, if the show were on the other foot and I had put a list out like that I would be called every name in the book and there might even be some threats, because the resident conservatives take jokes so well.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Thu, Oct 14, 2010, at 7:16 AM

While I am saddened that GI has been banned and I believe the tact that rrw took in announcing this was horrible and deplorable I too am shocked that more "liberals" have been thrown off this site than "conservatives".

I have stated many times that I only flag when I feel that the terms of service have been violated. There are posters still around today that I have felt in the past by their language should have been banned quite a while ago yet they remain.

Oh well it's fixing to get very quiet on these blogs. I will continue doing what I do best and that's blogging from my hear but always with facts (when called for) to back me up.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Thu, Oct 14, 2010, at 10:51 PM

Why did Guillermo get banned?

-- Posted by SWNebr Transplant on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 8:41 AM

If anyone's interested I have the multi paragraph sign off saved. If was pretty funny.

-- Posted by Damu on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 12:01 PM

I'd be interested Damu, apparently I missed all the fun :(

-- Posted by SWNebr Transplant on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 2:12 PM

Darn Mike, I swore I'd be nice to you but this is too "rich".

"While I am saddened that GI has been banned and I believe the tact that rrw took in announcing this was horrible and deplorable I too am shocked that more "liberals" have been thrown off this site than "conservatives"."

How can you be sad that GI is gone, he apparently has no respect for you or your posts and is a self-avowed liar. I thought you hated liars? Or is it only the "liars" who you don't think agree with you like the alter-egos of your "supporters"

You think the tact rrw took was deplorable but not the lies and misrepresentations, trying to trick people are not?

Maybe the reason the more "liberal" posters got banned is that they violated the terms of service more. Actually if you count the number of people involved only think a couple of liberal posters were banned for their bad behavior. They just got banned repeatedly.

-- Posted by SWNebr Transplant on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 2:44 PM

Welcome back SW. I am saddened (thanks for framing my quotes as you see it instead of how I meant it) because despite the ruse that was going on (which I knew nothing of) he was a good poster who used facts to back up his statements.

I have no idea why he got banned I had not flagged any of his comments as of late.

"Or is it only the "liars" who you don't think agree with you like the alter-egos of your "supporters"

Can you explain this statement because it makes absolutely no sense.

Again you spend so much time supposing about my thinking and putting in your own definitions that you misconstrue my statements completely. GI completely misrepresented himself on this site of who he was, that I find deplorable and wrong. The ideas that he put forth (whoever he was) were typically right on, truthful, and fact based. My respect for whoever GI was is gone, but not my respect for his thoughts.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 7:31 PM

Drop me a line at friendlydamu@gmail.com and I'll gladly send the pdf.

-- Posted by Damu on Fri, Oct 15, 2010, at 8:17 PM

My observation is that you missed a clue as to the identity of the author. Note:

"...teenagers can't control their sexual urges no matter what WE do..."

The sad thing is, this list will probably be sent around and around the Internet as "fact" with other so-called Conservatives adding their own agendas to the list. Sigh

The Conservative letter-to-the-editor writers in my town make all kinds of wild aspersions as to what they think Liberals believe. As I am one, I have yet to see any of them post what I actually DO believe.

-- Posted by Wendamere on Sat, Oct 16, 2010, at 7:10 PM

It's quite amazing what they have been able to do Wendamere. In a little over 16 years (yes I am starting this at the 1994 midterm election) conservatives have been able to push this theme.

They are able to tell liberals what liberals believe and if a liberal (for example you or I) actually say well know that isn't what I believe we are treated like idiots or insane because what they say is obviously the truth.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Sat, Oct 16, 2010, at 9:07 PM

Here's an interesting story.


and here we have been told over and over on this site that Democrats were stealing elections, yet with this story and the Ohio fiasco seems to point the other way.

-- Posted by MichaelHendricks on Mon, Oct 18, 2010, at 4:41 PM

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