It’s about the role, not just the title

For much of the last century, the neck tie was reliable fodder for comedy in the days leading up to Father’s Day, but times change. The norms of business attire have relaxed, and classic neck wear has all but disappeared. So what do we poke fun at now? A spike in grilling gear sales? The estimated $300,000 it takes to raise a child to 18? That dad jokes, unlike children, remain mercifully free?

Perhaps the better question to ask is what, and whom, we choose to celebrate.

Father’s Day is intended to honor fathers, but the word “father” doesn’t always mean the man who signed the birth certificate. Sometimes, it doesn’t even mean a man. The person who provides safety, consistency, guidance and love may be a stepfather, an uncle, a coach, a neighbor—or a single mom pulling double duty.

We should pause to recognize foster dads, single fathers, incarcerated fathers striving to stay connected, and those separated from their children by war, immigration or circumstances beyond their control. Their path is not easy, but their presence—whether physical or emotional—matters more than we often say.

It is also worth acknowledging that while the traditional, nuclear family model still holds value, not every child is born into that framework—and not every parent has the privilege of making that choice. To point out the benefits of a stable two-parent household is one thing. To weaponize that argument against families who don’t fit the mold is quite another.

This Father’s Day, let’s adopt a wider perspective. Let’s thank the people who show up, teach, nurture, and provide—not just financially, but with their time, patience, and imperfect yet heartfelt efforts.

For the traditional fathers, the quiet heroes of bedtime stories, school pickups and weekend projects, we’ll close with a familiar tune made immortal by Groucho Marx in 1951, with lyrics by Harry Ruby and Bert Kalmar. Stripped of music, they read like a poem—a funny, affectionate tribute to fatherhood in all its humble glory:

Today, Father, is Father’s Day,

And we’re giving you a tie.

It’s not much, we know,

It’s just our way of showing you

we think you’re a regular guy.

You say that it was nice of us to bother,

but it really was a pleasure to fuss,

for according to our mother,

you’re our father,

and that’s good enough for us.

Today, Father is Father’s Day,

a day that we all revere.

The tie that you got

didn’t cost such a lot,

but we’ll give you the same tie next year.

You tell us it was nice of us to bother

but it really was a pleasure to fuss—

For they say a child can only have one father,

and that’s good enough for us,

yes, and that’s good enough for us.