Private party offers new perspective

For a number of years Kay Flaska, of McCook, was on the faculty of Union College, in Lincoln.

It was her responsibility to teach English, as a second language, to adult foreign students who were new to the United States.

In many ways, she says, it was an ideal teaching job. The students were interesting and were eager to learn, so there were no discipline problems. Being on the Union College campus allowed her to take part in the cultural events, of which there were many, associated with college life.

Most of Kay's students came from, Mexico, Central and South America, or the Far East, though over a period of years she had students from every part of the world. The tragedy of Sept. 11 and the attendant interest in Afghani women reminded Kay of three students, Moslem women, from Saudi Arabia. Kay had never been around Moslem people before and found it to be an eye opening experience.

The three, all in their '30s were wives of men who were taking advanced studies at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. When the husbands came to inquire about the language classes they had many questions. Only when they were assured that the two teachers of the class were women, did they allow their wives to enroll.

On the first day of class the husbands came to the school, the wives walking three paces behind, much like one would bring a child to Kindergarten for the first time.

Thereafter, each time they would bring the wives just in time for the class, and be on hand to pick them up immediately after. The women did not say much during the class, reluctantly answering questions, and certainly did not make small talk with the other class members.

It was only during the one-on-one sessions that Kay was even sure that the instruction was being effective. Occasionally when one of the younger members of the class would say something funny Kay would notice that the eyes of the women would sparkle and she assumed that they were amused. But because the veils covered the faces to just below the eyes, and were always strictly in place, she could not be sure.

At Christmas time there were a number of fine musical programs on campus, but the Moslem women never attended, nor did they take part in any of the college extra curricular activities. They also did not accept the invitation to attend a party that the language class held during that time. The only time they were on campus was when they were brought for the language class.

Toward the end of the school year Kay and her fellow teacher received invitations from the Moslem women -- to attend a dinner party at the apartment of one of the women. The husbands had taken the children to one of the other homes and there were only the three women and the two female teachers in attendance. No men! When Kay and the other teacher arrived for the party they were greatly surprised.

It was apparent that the Saudis, even though students, had a great deal of money. The apartment was beautifully furnished and very comfortable. Kay and the other teacher had never seen the three women in attire other than the traditional Moslem dress. In class the women were always completely covered, only the eyes and the tips of the fingers exposed to view. (Even this attire was not as severe as that worn in public by Afghani women under the Taliban regime, where no part of the body was exposed. Even the eyes were completely covered with a thick veil, making it difficult for the women to see well enough to walk safely.)

Now, at the party, Kay was greeted by a beautiful, slender, young woman in a very smart slack suit, her dark eyes heavily accented with mascara. Soon afterwards the other two women arrived, in the familiar Moslem dress, carrying suitcases. After a considerable time in the bedroom they emerged, similarly changed. They all had taken great care in (liberally) applying facial make-up. Their long black hair was curled and styled. Rings, bracelets, earrings, and necklaces adorned their persons, and they jingled when they walked and gestured, which they did frequently.

The change in attire brought about a complete change of personality, and produced almost an intoxicating effect on the women, though no alcohol was served. Instead of being shy and retiring, as they were in class, now they were outgoing and voluble (surprising the two teachers as to the large English vocabulary that they had learned). Everything that night struck them as funny, and they giggled like teenagers at a slumber party. They obviously were having a fine time and created such a friendly atmosphere that the two teachers thoroughly enjoyed themselves as well.

The women had spent much of the day preparing the meal, and the table was loaded with countless varieties of delicious food, featuring both American and Near Eastern specialties. The feast was topped off with a thick, sweet Turkish coffee (so strong in caffeine that the two teachers spent a sleepless night after the party).

As the coffee was being served the women began to bring presents to their guests, not one, but many -- crystal clocks and vases, scarves and Arabian crafts. They were so appreciative of the work that their teachers had done for them, and they couldn't seem to offer enough praise, or do enough to demonstrate that appreciation.

In the spirit of the occasion the ladies shared their dreams. Automobiles intrigued one of the women. She marveled that Kay drove her own car and had her own apartment. She begged to know what it was like to drive a car and go places -- "all by yourself." Another imagined going on a shopping spree, or attending a movie, "by herself."

It was truly a magical evening. Kay had seen three beautiful, intelligent women emerge, as if from a cocoon, demonstrating individual personalities. Yet the next Monday, when the class met, they were again deposited and picked up by their husbands, once more clad in their traditional Moslem dress, eyes down, speaking only as necessary.

Kay sometimes wonders what has happened to these young women, who were so obviously intrigued by life in the United States, now that they are back in their own country, enveloped by a culture that keeps their women so sheltered and alone.

Thank God that we live in a society where our granddaughters can take piano lessons, and sing in the choir, and dance, and play soccer a society where our daughters can be housewives and mothers, but also teachers, and truck drivers, and doctors and Senators, and Supreme Court Judges -- or the Commander of a National Guard Company. God Bless America!