With three daughters, two in high school, people's drama is something that is part of our daily conversations. Always someone mad at someone or somebody talking about somebody else.
Drama about boys, drama about other girls or drama made up just to have drama. Never a dull moment and these days, with cell phones and social media, it's almost impossible to stay away from it, no matter how hard they try.
When I picked up my middle daughter from practice the other night, she got in the car and seemed kind of bummed. I assumed practice must have been bad, but she said that practice was fine, she just was irritated because some girls that day were not being very nice and saying mean things behind her back.
She wasn't sure what she had done in particular but was tired of there always being drama with girls. She said she just wishes people would grow up and mind their own business. Then she asked me when that would finally happen. When would girls stop being dramatic and talking about other girls.
I paused.... Then, instead of reassuring my young daughter that in a few more years all the drama would stop, I chuckled and said, "Well, honey, I hate to tell ya, but it never ends."
Then I shared with her that just that same day, a coworker of mine was acting the same way to me. I apologized for not having a more positive answer but I wanted her to know that women at 14 or 45 or even 85 can cause drama with other women, talk behind their backs and hurt their feelings.
She just looked at me disgruntled and asked, "Really?" "Yup," I responded. I explained that she will always encounter drama, no matter what she's in. Whether it be school or sports or a job or even family, there's always conflict at some point and there's always those one folks that thrive on drama so just plan on it. I told her that unless she chose to move to remote Alaska and live alone, she would have to figure out how to deal with it.
Basically, I offered two choices, 1) she ignore it and ignore the person or 2) she call them out on it.
However, in no way shape or form did I recommend she start new drama. Do not fire back with sassy or degrading comments (even though that would be way more fun and gratifying) and do not get online and start bashing anyone or sharing the drama with the whole gosh dang town. (Again, easier to do and sort of entertaining for others but not recommended in order to keep a good reputation).
We talk about karma and letting God handle things in our house a lot, and our most famous phrase is "Just let them get happy in the same pants they got mad in" so that's basically the direction I sent her. I told her to let miserable people be miserable if they choose to but don't let them decide your happiness.
She seemed to accept that response and continued on with her evening. And that next day at work, those words I had just expressed to my young teenage daughter the night before popped back into my head when I was confronted with the same type of drama with one of my female coworkers. The poor woman hates me (not sure why), isn't shy about it and lets others know. She enjoys talking behind my back and can be darn right malicious, which I find sorta funny instead of threatening. So I smiled and played nice and although I honestly wanted to fire off some sarcastic remarks, I thought about what I told my daughter and decided Miss Thang could just get happy in the same dress slacks she got mad in.
I choose to keep the drama at a minimum and if nothing else, try to find some humor in it because darn it, I'm too old for this nonsense and life's too short for all the drama!