Not leaves of grass
I find it somewhat crass
When they're's dog pucky in my grass
'Cuz I don't even own no dogs
So who's responsible for those stinkin' logs?
I got some paper towels and a shovel
thinkin' nitrile gloves were too much trouble.
I didn't need one, so I didn't get a bucket.
straight to the nearest dumpster is whar I tuck it.
Placing dog pucky gently is a must
to prevent shattering that delicate crust
that protects the world from the encased stench
which delivers the olfaction a gut-bending wrench.
Delicately done, I quickly retreat,
there's a leetle dab on the mower wheel; none on my feet.
Back to the mowing shaken, but filled with resolve;
the mystery of the Phantom Dog Pucky I may never solve.
The urine in the dog pucky will kill the grass.
Makes me want to kick that dog hard and fast.
Here's the difficulty, alack and alas,
I can't find the dirty dog that puckied in my grass.
Captain Pooper Scooper
Henry Hard Patrol