There are too many amateurish letters appearing in Open Forum today.
A professional does it better. Here are a few tips:
Quote the Bible often, especially the King James version (who was King James?).
Get your facts mixed up with statistics: 95 percent of all brainwashers got their head cleaned in the Bible machine.
There are still Communists hiding somewhere.
The world is going to end pretty darn soon, so return all borrowed books to the library. Notify the post office of your new forwarding address.
Defrost your refrigerator and invest wisely in only U.S. dollars.