Try Madison Avenue's style of marketing

As weary as I get of television and most especially television commercials, occasionally, someone comes up with a winner.

Jingles from the '60s are still rattling around in my memory, though it hardly seems that jingles are the art form they once were.

That Frankenstein monster who advertises for a joint relaxer is my current favorite. The concept itself is brilliant. Many who remember the original stiff-armed ill-conceived creature tromping through the dark woods -- the villagers running after him with torch lights and pitchforks -- are beginning to feel a similar stiffness in their own joints. To see him moving now with fluid grace makes the point for the product.

Then there are the unnecessary commercials. These tout products of a personal nature many of us aren't comfortable discussing with intimate family members let alone having the issue broadcast for all to see. Children, curious already, and with plenty left to learn, learn these lessons far too young. Other women know the commercials I mean and would agree, we have managed to find a way to meet those needs for generations without the help of Madison Avenue.

Promotional ads for television shows have unfortunately become mini- views of a level of decadence heretofore unimagined. Some of these images were once relegated to seedy, seamy, smoky back rooms in the nether regions of the inner city. How they made their way to prime time television is a mystery to me. (Don't bother to write and tell me to change the channel or to turn off the television. These images appear unexpectedly and at any time of day and by the time the offense registers, the spot is over. Besides that, my husband thinks television is an inalienable right, guaranteed by the Constitution. Or, he says, if it isn't, it should be.)

But I digress. Recently, a group of co-workers were shooting the breeze, talking among themselves of inconsequential things, when one piped up with "I lowered my cholesterol." That broke the group up. She delivered the line dead pan, sounding just like the gentleman on television does when making his announcement to perfect strangers on the street. Although I wasn't an eyewitness to this scene, I'd almost bet that the instantaneous reaction was identical to that portrayed on the commercial -- stunned incredulity. Then came the laughter. It is a moment destined to be repeated and recounted.

Four quick words, uttered simply and without fanfare, effectively capture the attention of the hearer. Every time I see that commercial, I ponder the reaction I might get, if while making my way to a seat on a commuter bus I remarked, "I know the Son of God." Or, while exchanging hellos with the Wal-Mart greeter, I countered with, "I'm going to live forever." How would total strangers respond to a statement like, "Someone died to save my life."? Certainly some would be speechless, much as the cholesterol actors on television. Others might have the presence of mind to inquire further. Still others would immediately decide that I was oh, perhaps half a bubble off center and as quietly as possible, increase the distance between us. I suppose it is even possible that some might respond with jeers, taunts or even out-and-out violence. Madison Avenue has a job to do. They must convince the buying public that they need a certain product. And not only that, but that they need it enough to pay hard-earned money to acquire it. For the most part, they are very good at their job. They have to be. There is a lot of competition in our open marketplace. Just a glimpse down one aisle at the local grocery is evidence of this.

Believers also have a job to do. A job that goes far beyond the whitest whites, the brightest brights, the most brilliant colors. The job we have before us impacts not the cleanliness of the bathroom porcelain, but the eternity of our neighbors, co-workers, and fellow sojourners on planet earth. We have but a short time. The stakes are high. So, how about it. Have you "lowered your cholesterol?" Are you ready to share? "... proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor... " Isaiah 61:1 (NIV)

-- Dawn Cribbs is a writer and now associate editor for the Gazette because the interview with the sales staff didn't go so well back in the summer of 1997.