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High school prom revisited
Do you remember your high school prom? I remember shopping for a new dress and enjoying a nice dinner. I also remember being amazed at how a little black plastic and some Christmas lights could transform an ordinary gym into a glittering wonderland.
I recall how great the guys looked in their tuxes, and how uncomfortable I was wearing heels instead of tennis shoes. I'm sure I spent the whole afternoon in front of the mirror, making sure I was ready for the big night.
What I don't remember are limousines, body wraps, tanning beds, facials, acrylic nails, and $100 dresses. Has the modern-day prom be-come a "designer" event? Maybe.
Case in point? My prom dress cost about $35, a real bargain when you consider that it contained twice as much fabric as most gowns today.
In the absence of actual "yard goods," I suppose the modern-day prom-goer is paying for improved fashion technology. It takes designer know-how to manufacture a nearly non-existent gown that also stays up.
My prom dress had ecru lace on the bodice. Today, the word "bodice" has gone the way of the dinosaur. Dresses don't have bodices. If they did, what would be the point of having a belly-button ring?
OK, I'm exaggerating a little. There are plenty of gowns out there that don't require double-sided tape or a glue stick to stay securely in place. And not all of them have a price tag over $100.
Considering that most prom dresses don‚t get worn after the big night, it's probably good to be a little thrifty. After prom, I hung my dress in a plastic bag in my closet. A quarter-century later it's still there, a powder-blue testament to my girlish sentimentality and the fashion colors of the 1970s.
Having attended numerous high school proms in the last several years, I can honestly say that they haven't changed all that much. The greatest danger for an adult is getting caught up in a spontaneous cologne-perfume fusion reaction and passing out from olfactory meltdown.
A crowd of young people radiates fragrance at an alarming rate, especially when emotions are running high. If a sudden blast of air sends the scent-cloud my direction, it can prompt a respiratory spasm.
I don't think teenagers are susceptible to this particular malady. The full development of the olfactory system must not come until later in life. Otherwise, nobody would live past the age of sixteen.
In the olden days, the most profound prom risk was "big hair" syndrome. Piling a girl's hair on her head, then anchoring it with twenty pounds of hair spray, tended to alter her natural center of gravity.
Once you put the same girl in high heels, you had a navigational instability of catastrophic proportions. It spelled "major collision" on the dance floor. But I guess every generation survives the fashion perils peculiar to its time.
Personally, I enjoy seeing kids get dressed up for a special occasion. Guys who do so at no other time of the year can indulge in a shave, whether they need one or not. Girls who wear jeans every day can see how it feels to step out in something shimmery.
As for me? Playing dress-up isn't bad now and then, but I'll take sweatshirts over evening wear any time. I get out my powder-blue prom dress sometimes, just to look at it. But I don‚t plan to revisit my prom days anytime soon.
I lived through high heels and excess perfume once. I'm not sure I could do it again.