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Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017

Fun with Sports Agents

Posted Saturday, November 10, 2007, at 12:06 PM

"Listen to how stupid you people are. You people need to start studying soil content or something. Why don't you find out how many socks get washed every day in the locker room?"--Gary O'Hagan of International Marketing Group and Coach Bill Callahan's agent.

Did I get your attention? Right now, go to www.omaha.com, and search "Callahan's agent." Go ahead. I'll wait. Now, click on the story that says "Callahan's agent rips into NU rumor mill (11/10/2007)." Okay, did you read it?

If you haven't read the article, let me clue you in on the fun. Coach Bill Callahan's agent, Gary O'Hagan of the International Marketing Group, must be feeling a bit cranky these days. Apparently, he's the last person in the entire world of sports who has not heard that Nebraska football fans have high expectations--mainly a winning football program and a defense worthy of the being called The Blackshirts. When asked if Callahan had been asked to resign, O'Hagan said, "Why would he resign?" Hmmm…I don't know…Pride? Self respect? Avoidance of further humiliating defeats? Because he took a team that had talent and entrusted the defense to Cosgrove, who's brilliant defensive strategy allowed Kansas to score 76 points--the highest point total ever against NU?

O'Hagan remarked, "There are two games to go. He's under contract." Translation--Callahan will not resign, because his greedy sports agent is holding out for his commission off whatever hefty severance package it's going to take to get rid of him. O'Hagan reportedly resorted to shouting into the telephone, "Then fire him. Listen to how stupid you people are. You people need to start studying soil content or something. Why don't you find out how many socks get washed every day in the locker room?"

Wow! This guy's a genius! I wonder if he could be my literary agent.

I googled Gary O'Hagan, mostly because I wondered what kind of a pansy sports agent could lose his cool like that. Here's another fun article I found:


Here's a quote from that article:

"Gary O'Hagan is one of the nation's most powerful sports agents, but you won't hear him screaming "Show me the money" like Jerry Maguire.

The 6-foot-9 O'Hagan has an imposing physical presence, but a calm demeanor that he takes with him into negotiations. Armed with some of the industry's most extensive data on compensation trends, he prefers to let the numbers speak for themselves when representing clients."

Calm demeanor, huh? Apparently, that reporter's experience was a little different than that of the World Herald's reporter. I guess you exchange more pleasantries when asking about a coach with a winning record. Now, I'm going to dwell on the sentence that states O'Hagan "prefers to let the numbers speak for themselves." Really? Then do we really need to explain to O'Hagan why Callahan should resign?

I would love to contact O'Hagan myself and discuss a few things with him, but I'm just too busy studying soil content and the laundering statistics of our athletic department.

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There's an old truth that goes, "Figures lie and liars figure." Sounds like O'Hagan wants to prove it.

-- Posted by dherman on Fri, Nov 16, 2007, at 10:16 PM

I think you solved any question over that man's angnst when you pointed out that his demeanor is calm because he lets numbers speak for themselves... thus a rare go round with 'loosin' it' because his numbers re: Callahan, are tankin'... is it just me or has the soil content down east gotten a bit acidic, this past season?



Great post, btw.

-- Posted by doreenparsons on Thu, Nov 15, 2007, at 2:18 PM

While I agree that Callahan has to go, I do admire his poise in meeting regularly with a media that quizzes him about whether or not his is quitting.

I was kind of hoping I could take his Football 101 class next summer. The class is offered to women who want to understand the basics of football and the registration fees support breast cancer research.

Good commentary, Sitcommom.com, on his agent, however. You're very clever! Where did you get your talent for writing?

-- Posted by teachermom on Sat, Nov 10, 2007, at 11:05 PM

Let me be the first to comment on my own blog that I'm genuinely thrilled about today's Husker victory over K State! I like to think my pre-game rant was just the hocus pocus they needed to end their losing streak. Glad I could help.

-- Posted by saveryhinze on Sat, Nov 10, 2007, at 6:21 PM

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Lori Savery-Hinze
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