Pollster: Hello, I am with the all mighty-political-pollster-group. Do you have five minutes to answer some questions about the upcoming Senate race?
Me: Yeah, go ahead.
Pollster: Are you a registered voter in Nebraska.
Me Thinking I should have said: Dumb question because I really don't think you would called if I wasn't a registered voter.
Pollster: Do you have a party affiliation? And if so would you say you align with the Democratic or Republican Party?
Me: Yes I have an affiliation. Why should it matter which party I belong to?
Me Thinking I should have said -- My only party affiliation is on Friday and Saturday nights. HAA HAA -- Okay stupid thought by me but had to find some humor in the question.
Pollster: If the election was held tomorrow would you vote for Deb Fischer or Bob Kerry for the open US Senate seat from Nebraska?
Me: Deb Fischer.
Pollster: Are you voting strictly along party lines?
Me: No, I am voting based on residency.
Me thinking I should have said: The Nebraska Democratic party could not find a viable candidate that had lived in Nebraska for the last say, five minutes? Not that anyone asked me to being with.
Pollster: Ma'am (long pause) residency is not a party. Not on my screen at least.
Me: Yep, I do know the meaning of residency.
Pollster: But the question...
Me: I heard you and I answered.
Pollster: (sounding flustered) So.... that is a no.
Me: Sigh... click whatever box on the screen you want to. No.... Other... Did not understand the question...
Me Thinking: Next time, check the caller ID!
Pollster: If the election was held tomorrow would your vote be influenced by any advertising such as print ads, television commercials or internet advertising?
Pollster: Which one? Do I need to repeat the choices?
Me thinking: Here we go again?
Me: Do you have a category for stupid commercials?
Pollster: Ma'am I just have...
Me: Okay, Okay..television.
Pollster: Where the ads informative and straight to the point?
Pollster: (sounding more than a tad irritated at me) Yes, that was a serious question.
Me thinking: Oh my....
Pollster: In 25 words or less can you tell me why the ad you are thinking about wasn't informative and straight to the point?
Me: Because the ads are distortions of the truth and I do NOT, repeat DO NOT respond well to negative, distorted advertising.
Me thinking: Was that under 25 words?
Pollster: Ma'am thank you for your time and our results will be posted on our website next week at five minutes after midnight. Please feel free to visit out site and provide feedback on this call. I would appreciate a 9 or 10 score because anything less is a zero score for each pollster.
Me: Allrighty then I will mark my paper calendar to do that.
Me thinking: There are probably pay backs for smarting off to a pollster.
Me: Nothing. Goodbye.