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Monday, Mar. 10, 2014
You Have Been in the Veterinary Industry Too Long When...Posted Thursday, August 2, 2007, at 10:04 PM
Caution, if your squeamish, you may not want to read these. If you don't understand, post a comment and I'll try to explain. We often get looked at funny with some of our conversations in restaurants. I try not to go into to many details but when they ask, I give them what they want, whether they want it or not. These came from the vetmedteam.com discussion forum. We're more germophobic than what these make us look like. I've placed a few personal comments in the ( ).
You look at a cardboard box and recognize its coffin potential or lab sample box when your sending out a tumor or blood samples.
When you go out to a club, when the black light comes on you check yourself for ringworm.
You can eat lunch while cleaning up a Parvo blowout. (Now that's just disgusting!)
You can keep your milkshake frozen in the freezer around the dead bodies. (I don't think so!)
You take your kids temperature and think 102 is normal.
After seeing what goes into the washing machine at work, your own laundry doesn't seem so dirty.
Your work clothes look like your pajamas.
You open your lunch container and find a spleen.
You have no problem eating your lunch on the wet sink where they have just finished a necropsy (aka Autopsy).
All of your pets are either 3 legged, lame, or blind in one eye. (I have a one eyed cat)
You've done an anal probe on a bird. (No, but I can draw blood from a wing vein.)
You can detect maggots at 100 paces, just by the smell. (Thats for sure.)
To you, pets are more recognizable than their owners are. (This is why I keep asking you what your name is. The Doctor I work for remembers patients by their disease. Go figure.)
When eating and you find a hair in your food, you pull it out and keep eating. Only if it DOESN'T look human!
The first thing you wonder when opening up a big cat abscess is, "Where are the Ritz crackers?" (YUCK!)
You cough up hairballs. (Well, that would be something to see.)
You are the first one in the hospital in the morning and you don't notice the smell. (Unless you have a tomcat in the kennel.)
You start to like the smell of anal glands. Ok this will never happen!
You can play connect the dots with all of your scars and puncture wounds.
When NORMAL people won't eat meals with you. (You see what I mean?)
You get the flu and begin to sympathize with the Parvo dog.
Your paycheck barely covers your food bill, but ALL of your animals eat a premium brand food!
Your medicine cabinet holds nothing but animal medications.
If you have ever picked up Poop with your bare hands. (Shh, don't tell anybody. I do wash my hands when I'm done.)
You can put a muzzle on with one hand tied behind your back.
You know that "pink juice" and "blue juice" are not flavors of Kool-Aid. (you don't want to know)
You get a rash from just LOOKING at a Shar-Pei.
You catch yourself whistling to call your kids to dinner! (I haven't got kids yet, so this isn't so bad.)
Here's a new one: You have pictures of some poor dogs internal organs on your personal digital camera
I just found out something new, a double ** makes your text bold.