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Friday, May 6, 2016

Pack mule

Thursday, November 8, 2012

So I guess I was mistaken. Apparently, since I'm the only one in our family that carries a purse, I am, therefore, responsible for toting every family member's belongings when we are out and about.

I guess I must have missed that chapter in the What to Expect When You're Expecting book, and I don't remember a memo being sent home from the hospital explaining that I will, from now on, be the pack mule of the family.

I thought the day I finally got to pitch the diaper bags and finally use a regular purse, was the end of my hauling-people's-junk days. Plus, I remember being so excited that I could go out and buy real purses again and not bags the size of a suitcase.

Now, I didn't mind throwing in a fruit snack bag or two, but it seems over the years, my purse can acquire quite a collection of water bottles, containers of cereal, and coloring books that don't really belong to me or at least won't be used by me.

The sentiment in my house is, whether it's vacation, church, a sports tournament, or shopping, if you don't feel like carrying it, just throw it in Mom's purse -- she won't care. I've had up to four cell phones at a time, three wallets, an art book, bag of crayons and six packs of gum ... not kidding, and that can be on a shopping day through the mall ALL day. They don't care that my purse ends up weighing about 72 pounds, leaving a 1 inch divot in my shoulder. So if you see me walking around like a hunchback, you'll know why.

I admit I bring a little bit of it on myself, since I feel like I need to have in my possession every possible item that I might need in an emergency.

For example, if you need deodorant, 20 band aids, hydrocortisone, antacid tablets, clippers, or four tubes of chapstick, I'm yer guy!

And don't forget the mini-size Lysol in case you come across a public restroom that's seen better days. And last but not least, two packs of Kleenex and three tiny bottles of hand cleaner!

My wallet is always bulging at the seams too, and not due to the exorbitant amount of cash either, but rather full of business cards, store punch cards, kids pictures and $3 worth of pennies. That alone adds at least 5 pounds to my poor purse. It certainly doesn't help, either, when I forget to take out my green tea bottle from last week. I don't know how my purse straps keep it together. If they could talk, they'd be screaming in agony some days.

But getting back to my family, they treat MY purse like their own personal bag that comes free with a human carrier as well. I've noticed they also treat it like their junk drawer.

Why throw their gum or candy wrappers in the trash when mom's purse is wide open and ready to collect their trash at all times? So I have thousands of little balled up gum wrappers in all the crevices, some with gum, some without.

On top of that, my pitiful purse has to haul around everyone's phone charger and cords. These darn cords don't fold up well in the junk drawer, nonetheless confined to the dividers in my purse.

But I'll tell ya what, if your phone needs charged, there's a good chance I can help ya out!

Anyways, I'm just not sure how or when I got this role of junk carrier but, man, do I have it! So when you see me lugging around with one shoulder dropped to my waist and a bag with cords, paper, and whatnot hanging all out if it, just know I'm the family Pack Mule! Bless my heart.

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Jennifer Morgan
Motherhood Moments
-- Jennifer Morgan is the mother of three girls and lives in McCook.