Will they have a Monopoly on board game films?

I'm not the Gazette's movie guy, I know, but I saw something movie-related on an industry Web site that I frequent that I found -- well -- astonishing.

Universal Pictures is teaming up with toy manufacturer Hasbro to make a movie version of the board game "Monopoly," according to the Hollywood Reporter, a leading entertainment business publication.

Let me repeat that, if only to drive the point home for myself. Universal Pictures and Hasbro are going to make "Monopoly: The Movie."

Finally, huh?

But wait -- it gets better!

The director attached to the project is Ridley Scott. His previous directing experience includes such films as "Thelma & Louise," "Gladiator," and "Black Hawk Down," none of which were board game related, at least outwardly. All three of the films, however, were ones for which he received Academy Award nominations.

Perhaps "Monopoly: The Movie" will be the one to put him over the top at the Oscars? According to the article, the respected producer-director is considering styling the project along the lines of his own "Blade Runner," which is prized in many corners as a science fiction classic.

I hate to sound like a spoilsport, but is the world ready for a stark vision of the future based on a board game that is, essentially, about the ups-and-downs of real estate brokerage and property management in New Jersey? (And, honestly, will it ever be?)

To be fair, I don't know if this will fail. Scott is an A-list director and producer, and that means there will be some real time and money spent on this, which translates to an improvement in the chance that a decent movie could end up being made. After all, I didn't expect anything from Disney's initial "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie -- based on the infamous theme park ride -- and now I count it among my favorite films of this decade, thanks to the studio's willingness to spend the coin to make it work. It's easy to forget now that "Pirates" was a hugely expensive gamble for the company; that it paid off critically and at the box office was doubtlessly a triumph.

I guess my biggest fear is what could come of a "Monopoly" movie's success -- a glut of popular board games becoming dramatized.

Maybe rival fruit orchard owners (I'm crossing my fingers for Eugene Levy and Cuba Gooding, Jr.) would engage in a wacky war over who can harvest their trees faster in the light-hearted family romp, "Hi-Ho Cherry-O: The Motion Picture."

Perhaps four strangers from various walks of life will find themselves plunged into a treacherous race against each other -- and against the long and winding route -- in the stunt-packed action thriller, "Chutes and Ladders."

And -- in possibly the most obvious board game-to-movie translation of all -- a diverse group of college kids on an African safari make a wrong turn, and their summer vacation becomes a terrifying battle for survival when they cross paths with a bloodthirsty herd of "Hungry Hungry Hippos."

Huh. I actually kind of like these.

OK, then, Hollywood studios, you're welcome to any and all of them. All I ask in return is story credit, two percent of the gross, and final cut.

I await your calls.