When witnesses testify in a court of law, they are required to take an oath swearing "to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Even then, it's not unusual for a witness to lie. It's not unusual, in large part, because we've become a nation of liars. I know that "liar" may sound a bit harsh, but when we don't tell the truth, we tell a lie. Some people call it "shading the truth" or "embellishing" or they call it a "little white lie" but a lie is still what it is.

We can lie through either omission or commission. If we say something we know not to be the truth, it's a lie of commission. If we leave out things, it's a lie of omission. But it's still a lie. We either speak the truth or we don't and every time we lie, it's easier to do it the next time, just like anything else is.

We lie for a variety of reasons. Some people are afraid to be honest with other people; afraid either because of their own insecurities or afraid at how the other person might react. We often try to convince ourselves that we're simply sparing the feelings of another but we're actually trying to protect ourselves. A friend of mine overhead a conversation I was having the other day and, after the conversation ended, he remarked that I was a little "harsh" with the other person. It was not my intention to be deliberately harsh, but if telling the truth results in that dynamic, then I think it is better for everyone in the long run, despite the temporary uncomfortableness of a particular situation.

I think it's crucial to be honest in our dealings with others, regardless of the potential fallout, because truth and honesty are the foundation of every social relationship. Whether business, friendship, marriage, or romance, it's virtually impossible to have the kind of relationship that will grow and strengthen and mature as time goes by if any part of that relationship is based on a lie. Once someone has lied to you, there will always be a small voice in your head reminding you that they've lied to you before which means they might lie to you again. Trust is built on truth, not on lies and deception.

If you have a boss who has told you he'll do something and then he doesn't do it, that builds mistrust in the workplace, if you have a friend that lies to make himself look better, that threatens the friendship, if you have a spouse that cheats, that ruins the marriage, and if you have a lover who says one thing and does the other, that marginalizes the relationship.

The truth, sometimes as harsh and biting and unyielding as it is, should always be preferable to the lie because ALL of us have the ability to deal with and handle the truth, even though it might be temporarily painful, but NONE of us know how to deal with the lie because lies hide the truth. We all know people who lie so often to those they're in intimate relationships with that not only is the person a liar, the entire relationship has become a lie.

A structure is only as strong as its foundation. The most magnificent building in the world will crumble and fall if its foundation is weak. And so it is with people. We can never build deep and abiding relationships with others if we lie to them and yet the lie has become as common in our inter-personal relationships with others as greetings and salutations.

It's pretty amazing we've gotten to this point. I don't like to be lied to and I'll bet you don't either. One of the most common statements in our culture is "If you had just told me the truth, we could have dealt with it." Lies broke my heart and ended what I thought was a loving, caring, intimate relationship that would last forever, just as lies have ruined the lives of countless other people engaged in relationships with others on this planet.

That's what lies do. They destroy and they demean and they foster a sense of hopelessness and helplessness because we can't make other people tell us the truth. Ultimately, we can only be responsible for ourselves. We always have the choice of choosing the truth over the lie. It would be a fresh start for our society if all of us started making ourselves do exactly that today.

Because the truth WILL set you free.