What's wrong with this picture?

I imagine most of you either read the front page story in last Sunday's edition of the Omaha World-Herald or have heard about it by now. It was about how births to unwed teens feed generations of poverty. It particularly focused on two black women, Samona Jones and her daughter, Keyana. Samona was pregnant with her first child when she was 13; Keyana first became pregnant when she was 14. Samona is now 31 and is soon to deliver her 12th child, from several different fathers. She has never been married. Because of a recent legislative change that repealed a cap on Aid to Dependent Children, the two women receive nearly $2,000 a month from the government.

More people have talked to me about this story than any other media-generated story since I've been writing this column. It, quite frankly, is the kind of story that produces outrage in the minds of many. It is the kind of story that that focuses peoples' anger at the welfare system as it exists in this country. And, unfortunately, this particular story is not an isolated situation. This scenario is common across America and, even though the number of unwed mothers has been decreasing over the past several years, most people think it hasn't decreased nearly enough.

The situation these two women created for themselves begs for answers. What should be done? What CAN be done? Can this situation be reduced, rectified, or eliminated? Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be satisfactory answers for any of these questions.

We find so many instances like this that have the same result. It's called generational welfare. We are what we learn. The norms, values, morals, and life expectations are more likely to be learned from family members than anyone else. I give examples in the Sociology classes I teach of women whose entire lives have been embedded in welfare and poverty. Their mothers were on welfare, their grandmothers were on welfare, their sisters are on welfare, they're on welfare and their daughters will likely be on welfare too, just as Samona and Keyana are. It's a condition of learned helplessness, where people are allowed to live their lives without exercising any personal discipline at all, knowing they will be bailed out financially by our government for their poor decisions. And, of course, the $2,000 this family receives in welfare payments every month is only the tip of the iceberg when compared to the total outlay of payments to families just like this in practically every town and city in the United States.

The thing that infuriates most is that even though the government sends out the checks, the checks are being funded by our tax dollars. The basic dichotomy that develops is that those of us who are trying to do the right thing by learning a skill, trade, occupation, or profession and practicing what we've learned in order to provide for ourselves and our families are also supporting these other families as well who chose to do none of the things we did. Many people, especially in the heartland, strongly believe that welfare as we know it should be eliminated; that people should not be paid for the mistakes they make. The other side contends that if Aid to Dependent Children is ended; it's not the mother who will suffer the most but the child; the only innocent person in the whole process. Both sides have merit.

But, in addition to the tremendous amount of money being paid out to unwed mothers every month, this particular problem only scratches the surface of all the other manifest problems that result from children being born to unwed mothers. These children will suffer in every single area because of single parenthood. They are unlikely to have a suitable male role model; even if the mother is a good, decent person, it's likely that she's working two or three jobs to supplement the government checks she receives and, consequently, is not there physically for the child or children she has given birth to. These children are more likely to drop out of school, they're more likely to grow up illiterate, they're more likely to be able to work only at minimum wage jobs if they work at all, they're more likely to become involved with alcohol and drugs and they're more likely to commit crime and go to jail. It affects every aspect of society and it affects every single life in society, whether directly or indirectly.

We live in a society where a person can have as many children as they desire, and if they can't afford to raise them, we, through our government, will foot the bill. People have to take and pass a test to practice law, practice medicine, become a teacher or a professor, drive a car, or even cut someone's hair, but no tests at all are required to be a parent. Ten minutes of physical pleasure can change an untold number of lives forever.

If there are answers to this national problem, the answers are not going to be palatable for a lot of people. The two most obvious answers are also the two most extreme; forced sterilization after a fixed number of births for people in the high risk population; the total elimination of welfare checks to women who have children out of wedlock, or both.

I don't see it as being compassionate to prop up, support, forgive, and understand people who continuously make bad choices. One of the very basic understandings of social life is that we can't just do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do it. There are rules to follow and if we break those rules, punishments will be administered. Rewarding instead of punishing encourages rather than discourages the continuation of making bad choices and therein lies the crux of the problem we face as a free, democratic society.