Movie Review - 10,000 B.C.
Starring Steven Strait and Camilla Bell and Directed by Roland Emmerich(Independance Day, Day after Tommorrow).
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence. Run Time of 1 hour and 49 minutes.
10,000 BC is the latest film from Director Roland Emmerich who likes the big-budget action/adventure film. 10,000 BC is no different in that regard, however, Emmerich bites off way more than he can handle by opting to write a good portion of this flick as well. This leads to a dumb and dull script that unfortunately has way too many lines that should have never been said. It's hard for me to review this film as it is not a good flick, however it has top notch production values and some extremely good CGI effects, sprinkled with a bit of good old action, the flick ends up winning me over for the pure enjoyment of nonsense and pretty things.
Cat was great! Only in it for 10 seconds, but it was an amazing 10 seconds...
10,000 BC tells the story of a warrior/caveman who at a very young age meets a wandering girl who joins his tribe. Day two of knowing her, the 10 year old boy proclaims his undying love and tells her that there is a star in the sky that never moves, much like his love. Then the movie cuts to many years later and the warrior is about to go on a hunt for a Woolly Mammoth with the other warriors. Whoever kills the Mammoth gets the girl and the white spear. Obviously, our warrior manages to get the job done and wins the girl. Then, the very next morning, the entire tribe is attacked and most of the warriors and girls are taken captive including our hero's love. The rest of the movie is all about trying to get her back and includes many twists and turns.
A few, little spoilers in the next paragraph****
First of all, the kid confesses his love at 10 for a girl he has barely seen or barely even talked to? It's a story driving scene but very out of place and laughable. Once the warrior starts out on his quest to bring back the girl, the action and CGI effects kick in and start to mesmerize your brain which is a great thing, however one of the most exciting bits from the trailer was the Sabertooth, which when the big cat shows up on screen, he is stuck and ready to die. Our amazing warrior thinks that it would be a great idea to free him while saying, "If I free you, you can't eat me." WHAT?!?!? Is that supposed to even make sense? Well, obviously the cat doesn't eat the man and everything is great. Then the warrior waltzes into another village and is soon surrounded by another tribe ready to kill him, but wait, the cat is back to protect him! The Sabertooth growls and hisses and then leaves. No more cat scenes. Very disappointing indeed. Another remarkable feat for our warrior is the distinct ability to be able to speak to all the tribes that they encounter through regular English or a sub language that one of his friends just so happens to know as well as English. Then, they finally make it to this big city that is actually EGYPT. The people in charge there are making everyone into slaves to work on there Pyramids, being built with the help of Woolly Mammoths, which also seems a bit out of place or way out of place, but who's counting by this point. I think what I'm trying to say is that the story, settings, themes, and the rest of the movie is rather unbelievable and without the amazing production values and pretty CGI effects, the movie would be a straight to video release that no one ever rents.
ENDING SPOILER IN NEXT PARAGRAPH*******
So, we reach the end and guess what? Hero saves girl, but then girl is killed. Hero weeps, but wait, girl comes back to life. All is good again. YEAH!!! Wait, hold up, girl dead. Girl doesn't come back from dead. Oh, nevermind, the movie explains it by an old grandmother who watches over the tribe gave her last breath to give life to the hero's girl so she can watch over the tribe now. Wait, what? How? That still doesn't make sense. By this point though, it doesn't really matter how they explain something as it's all ridiculously crazy.
I am quite torn on this flick as I did enjoy watching it, but not because it was a 'good' movie but because it was so stupid, plus let's not forget those pretty graphics that mesmerize so many of us. This is a movie to waste some time with, but not worth thinking about. If you are looking for a good time, 10,000 BC will provide it, just don't expect to find any intelligence in it.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. 10,000 BC is playing at Cinema 3 in McCook. Check out showtimes at www.fridleytheatres.com
UPDATE: 10,000 BC won the box office for the weekend with a surprising pull of $35.7 million domestically and $25.3 overseas for an international take of $61 million.