Say it in the right way

It's Valentine's Day, a day when men and women alike are expected to show their love through gifts of flowers, candy, cuddly teddy bears, jewelry and an uncountable array of other gifts.

It's a special day when engagement rings are presented and love is proclaimed.

But in all truth, every day should be Valentine's Day. I'm not saying that gifts should be purchased every day, only that we should proclaim our love to those in our lives who are truly loved.

Several years ago I was working as a bartender, Brad came to my place of work and had a few drinks, as he was leaving, I gave him my usual goodbye -- "Love Ya," I told him.

A sage gentleman called me to task almost immediately.

"Do you love Brad," he asked me.

"Of course," I told him, feeling a little defensive

"Then you should tell him that," he said. "You can say 'love ya' to your friends, but when you're talking to your husband you tell him you love him in the right way. You tell him 'I Love You,' it has more meaning."

It made sense. I've been using the term ever since.

There are so many kinds of love, love for a parent, a child, a friend or a lover or spouse.

I have known many loves, the love of my children, my parents, my brother and sister, and my husband.

I think I fell in love with Brad within a few minutes of meeting him. His gentle nature and quiet demeanor hooked me almost immediately -- but I had no idea how that love would grow over the years.

Brad has been there for me through some of the hardest times of my life.

I met him almost a month to the day after losing my sister to breast cancer. My oldest son had decided to go live with his aunt in Colorado, and after careful consideration, I had given custody of my youngest son to his father. Because of my recent divorce, I had lost my job as a motel manager.

I had hit rock bottom and I was one of the angriest woman you could ever imagine.

And then I met Brad.

Brad was there for me throughout my ordeal. From the first night we met, he was my support -- my life-line.

He was there to hold me when he found me crying uncontrollably. He was there to make me laugh and he stuck by me even when my anger turned to violence.

Looking back at my life then, I believe I should have been hospitalized, but instead I had Brad.

He was my therapist and my best friend. He was the one who made my life worth living. He was my rock. And he remains my voice of reason today.

For many years, I have talked about Brad in this column, using him as fodder to make people laugh, he accepted the good-natured ribbing without protest.

But today, on this special day set aside for love and lovers, just let me say, "Thank you Brad. I love you. I love you for being who you are, for supporting me throughout all my mistakes and my tantrums, for encouraging me when I was down, and for being there for me every step of the way throughout the last 10 years."

And I'll feel that way not just today, but every day for the rest of my life.