It's a favorite praise chorus of mine. You have to sing it to appreciate it fully, but the words are:

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. There's just something about that name.

Master. Savior. Jesus. Like the fragrance after the rain.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Let all heaven and earth proclaim.

Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there's something about that name."

I thought to write this week about the young man in Omaha who saw only meaningless days stretching before him and found that he could not live one more meaningless day. His bleak vision of this life and its apparent lack of potential brought him to a violent rage that caused him to kill complete strangers without provocation and himself. How tragic. His final acts were his final cry of "See me. Feel me. Touch me." (from the chorus of the song "See Me" from the rock opera "Tommy" by "The Who.") The last clause in the chorus is "Heal me." The tragedy lies not only in the fresh graves of his victims but in the truth that Robert Hawkins himself is now in a place far beyond any hope of healing.

Then came Sunday morning. And more tragedy. Another young man, more anger, more hatred, more violence. And his with a dire purpose. He knew his targets, if not personally, then by association.

A lot has been written about him. But perhaps words attributed to him via the Internet are the most telling, "The fact is, in YWAM (Youth With a Mission) and christianity, it's all about the Beautiful People. No, it's not just 'one group of bad christians' but rather...almost every group of christians except for a few open minded non-evangelical churches. If you're an extrovert, and popular, then yes, there is plenty of love waiting for you in christianity. If you ask questions and want to understand things and/or desire a real and deep spirituality, or if you're just not popular...well...you are considered as one of the horrible people and are either going to be abused or kicked out by 'holy spirit love filled' christians. it's all about...the Beautiful People."

This, according to "The True Crime Weblog" at www.truecrime weblog.com, was posted by Matthew Murray under the user name nghtmrchld26 on May 8, 2007, on a message board for ex-Evangelical Christians and ex-Pentecostals. By all accounts, Murray's association with YWAM ended some five years ago. Did resentment simmer or did some subsequent event re-ignite the fire? In either case, his postings became more toxic and continued through the summer months up until the time of the shootings, with this message allegedly posted in between the time of the Arvada shootings and the Colorado Springs shootings: "You Christians brought this on yourselves. All I want to do is kill and injure as many of you ... as I can especially Christians who are to blame for most of the problems in the world." (According to the Rocky Mountain News, all postings by nghtmrchld26 have since been removed from the message board.)

The disquieting part of the post from May 7 was made more so because my children used similar words to describe their experience with the youth group at our church in Brighton many years ago.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. There's just something about that name. And if Matthew Murray found nothing but condemnation and rejection from those who call themselves followers of Jesus, then that name, for him, became a festering wound. Did his cry of "See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me." fall on deaf ears? Has the church become nothing more than a group of beautiful people with little to offer except empty platitudes and disdain for those who aren't "just like us?"

Nothing can excuse Murray's actions. But if we are to be light in the darkness, we cannot become so enamored of our own "beauty" and so arrogantly self-assured of our own place in heaven that we fail to reach out to the least of these and offer words of welcome, comfort and healing.

And lest we grow too arrogant, we must strive to remember our Lord's observation oh so long ago in the temple courtyard, and take (again?) our rightful place beside the man, who beat his chest and cried, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner." (Luke 18:9-14)

Because until we have become like him, we are unable to hear the cries of those who come seeking and desiring a "real and deep spirituality."

Was Murray a hate-filled madman who sought only to break through and destroy? Or was this too his final cry? It is a tragedy. For his victims, their families, and for him, for now, he too, is beyond the reach of any hope of healing.

From Scripture we understand that persecution will come, and will increase in the latter days. How much of it will come, however, because we have polluted the pure message of the Gospel and set ourselves above others, somehow more worthy, somehow more deserving of God's grace and mercy?

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) (NIV)

Things you won't see in heaven: Security guards