Opinion

Getting rid of the static in our lives

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Wayne Dyer is a former college professor who became sort of a self-styled, self-defined self-actualization guru about 20 years ago and he's still going strong. He can often be seen on PBS and has written many books about how to take charge of your life and live it to the fullest. What started out as pretty practical advice has morphed into almost a religion of his own and, quite frankly, he's gotten a little too bizarre and "out there" for my tastes. But some of the principles he first started out with remain true, accurate and perceptive and it's one particular principle I want to talk to you about today.

 

We have too much static in our lives. By static, I mean non-productive, sometimes even destructive attitudes, decisions, and people that clutter up our lives and make life much more difficult than it should be. From time to time, I'm convinced we need to seek out a quiet place and think about where our lives are, where we want them to be, and what kinds of things and people we need to eliminate from our lives to help us reach our full human potential in the short time we are privileged to live on this planet.

 

There's a great television show on this fall called, "Kitchen Nightmares." It features a world-class chef by the name of Gordon Ramsey. He goes to restaurants around the country and literally saves them from extinction and/or bankruptcy. Ramsey previously has had chef contests with the winner receiving their own restaurant on a show called "Hell's Kitchen" which is also the name of his signature restaurants located around the world.

 

I bring up "Kitchen Nightmares" because Chef Ramsey doesn't so much change the restaurants but rather changes the attitudes and the behaviors of the people who own them and work in them and that's why it's relevant to this discussion. People are creatures of habit. We get into ruts, we get stuck, and we become immobilized, often when we don't even know we are. If we do realize we are, most people have no idea how to fix it. Gordon does. He transforms restaurants from being stuck to being free by primarily changing the attitudes, demeanor, and the behavior of those who work there.

 

That's what all of us need to do, but most of us don't have the luxury of hiring a world-class expert in the field of personal transformation to come and fix us. We have to fix ourselves. That's why the whole self-help and self-improvement genre has exploded over the past 20 years or so. Many people know they need to be fixed but are so incapable of fixing themselves that they go to gurus, buy audio and video tapes, CDs and books, desperately trying to find the answer.

 

But I believe there are more answers inside us than outside us. Who knows us better than we know ourselves? That's why I don't like neatly boxed up lists and recipes that are supposed to do it for us. We know when we're in a rut or stuck and in a vast majority of cases, we know why too. Chef Ramsey confronts people and makes them see and admit their failings. But since we don't have a Chef Ramsey, we have to do that for ourselves. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror, or have a heart-to-heart talk with ourselves, or sit down with pen and paper and write out the things that are causing our problems and then come up with solutions to solve those problems.

 

We can do that but most of us don't. We don't because it's hard work. We don't because it requires effort. We don't because it's easier to do what we've always done than to change our lives for the better. So we hang on to friends that aren't really friends. We stay in relationships that work against us instead of for us. We put up with lying and cheating, and abuse and indifference and justify it by saying that's just the way it is.

We all have the power to change our lives right now, if we would just take control of our own lives instead of allowing others to control us instead. Take an inventory of the best and worst things in your life and then build on and enhance the good and get rid of the bad. It may sound hard or difficult but most things worth having ARE hard AND difficult. Few people make it to the top by taking the easy road. Whether you're a chef, businessman, attorney, doctor, carpenter, teacher, spouse or parent; the good ones didn't just fall into it; they earned it. They suffered ups and downs, rewards and punishments, good days and bad days, but through it all they stayed on message; they were bound and determined to succeed in their lives and to succeed, you have to get the static out of your life.

 

That's why we have to take personal inventory from time to time. We have to be brutally honest with ourselves in order to identify who or what the static is. If we choose to keep the static around, we have no one to blame but ourselves because it isn't required, it isn't necessary and it always pushes us down instead of pulling us up.

 

Get rid of the static and see how your life is enhanced almost in the blink of an eye. The sky will be higher, the day will be brighter and your life will be better forever if you do.

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