Pop, puffs and publishing

This one is a bad one. I can't seem to move from where I'm sitting. The only thing I seem to be getting accomplished is drinking pop and smoking cigarettes and sitting in front of the computer.

The "bug" I'm talking about doesn't come in the form of a virus or bacteria, but it does infect your brain to the point that you become fixated on one thing -- in my case that one thing is getting a book published.

I've been thinking about publishing a collection of some of my favorite columns for several years, in fact I've had them all printed and labeled since 2004 -- I've just never done anything about it.

Once I started working with Gene Morris, I told myself "When I get the time, I'm going to put those all together and have them printed." I started working with him in August and I'm finally getting around to it.

I've had a lot of fun publishing other people's works, learning new techniques and new skills and the ins and outs of what making a book is all about. It's not as easy as one might think.

First there's the proofreading: I don't care how many times you look at a word or a sentence, you WILL miss something, no matter how many people look at the book or the story or the manuscript, something bad is going to creep through.

Take for example, the first 75 editions I printed of my book, "It's My Life and I'll Laugh If I Want To." I spell checked the thing three times. I checked the grammar three times. I checked and changed the page numbering seven times. I made sure that each new essay started exactly two inches below the top margin.

I decided it was time to start printing.

I have a laser printer at home, the only trouble with it is that it doesn't duplex (automatically print on both sides), so I had to print the even number pages back to front first. I printed 100 of the fronts.

As I prepared to turn them over and print the odd page (front to back), I fanned them, trying to make sure I wouldn't have any paper jams. As the paper flew by my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a chapter heading that was at least four inches below the margin. I flipped a little further and found another one.

I finally went back to the computer and looked things over. At least the page numbering was right, and after those two chapters, things seemed to have straightened themselves out.

I went ahead and printed the first 75 copies, hoping that my readers will understand, and knowing that if they've read any of my absent-minded columns -- I mean my columns about being absent-minded -- they'll figure I just put it in the book to get my point across.

Hopefully, if there is another printing, the next one will go a little better.

I'm hoping to have the books printed before Christmas. Whether I can get them delivered before Christmas is another story.

I have made arrangements to display them at D & S Hardware, once they are completed, or you can order them for $10.99 plus $2 shipping and handling ($5 if you'd like priority mail) by sending a check or money order to Masoner Books and Design, PO Box 1012, McCook, NE 69001.

I can also be reached by email at gmasoner@mac.com

You'll be the first one I tell when I've finally got them finished.