I've been finding out lately exactly how much I love all the modern conveniences -- and how much I hate them.

Take, for example, the fact that I cannot in any way, shape, form or fashion, connect electronically with my youngest son.

We're using what they call "snail mail" for those of you who aren't as "hip" on all of the current lingo as I am. (That was written tongue-in-cheek or thumb-in-mouth in this case.)

Using "snail mail" doesn't work as easily as the new-fangled e-mail and live chatting.

I received a letter from Jeremy that was about four days old saying he was going to do whatever he had to in order to come home.

I shot back a letter, telling him I would support any decision he made, but I hoped he would carefully consider his options.

And then I hit him with a list of "changes" that would be implemented should he decide the Army National Guard wasn't for him. He's probably still reading. I sent it off the day after I received his letter.

The same day I sent his letter at about 6 a.m., I received a letter from him at about 10:30 am. Things were going much better. He'd had the opportunity to shoot his gun and the next day they were going to get certified in grenade throwing. I was jumping for joy (again, tongue-in-cheek) at the idea of my youngest son lobbing hand grenades.

I looked at Brad the night after I received the letter and told him, "Jeremy must have done all right with his grenade throwing. We didn't get any phone calls."

About a week after finding out he'd be playing with hand grenades, I got a letter saying he'd been certified excellent in grenade tossing.

If we were on the Web, I would have known he still had both hands within seconds of his certification and he wouldn't have had to spend four days reading all of my new rules.

On the other end of the spectrum -- the wired and wireless world -- you would think that new is better. Unfortunately, that isn't the way it seems to go.

Transferring files, reinstalling programs, setting up e-mail, Internet, and a home network are not for the faint of heart.

It took me an entire weekend of 12-hour days just to get everything transferred from one computer to another, and then none of it would open.

I tried everything. Then I decided it was time to set up a network. It was another eight hours before I finished that and you can add another eight hours for getting things synced together.

I told Brad, that's one reason you should never own a laptop -- They're too easy to throw across the room.

He gave me a look and said, "You'd better not. When you get done using it, you're going to show me how to use it."

All I can say is he'd better be careful what he asks for -- he may end up being the one that's thrown across the room.