People around McCook will remember Cactus Chris, the retired College Professor turned Grizzled Cowboy Poet, from his appearances at the Buffalo Commons Storytelling Festivals. Cactus was on the program, along with Roger Welsch, at the very first Storytelling Festival in 1996 and has appeared at our annual Festival a couple of times since. Some folks have questioned the veracity of some of his poems, and perhaps with good reason. Chris was recently awarded the 1st place prize at the Nebraska Liars Contest and has been inducted into the Liars Hall of Fame at Dannebrog. That surely makes him a 1st Class Liar. We are told so by "The Man Himself," Roger Welsch, "That Doggerel Dandy from Dannebrog," so it must be true (?)

The following comes from a story in the Las Cruces (N.M.) Sun News by S. Derrickson Moore

When Chris Buethe received word that he was the first-place winner and was being inducted into the National Liars Hall of Fame, he had the logical reaction.

"I thought it had to be a lie. Since they're a bunch of liars, I assumed they sent certificates to everybody," said Buethe, a retired university professor who started what he described as his "non-profitable cowboy poetry career" about 11 years ago.

But the designation as top liar turned out to be true. Buethe was profiled in the March/April issue of Nebraska Life magazine by contest founder Roger Welsch, reporting "results from the greatest contest in human history, direct from the National Liars Hall of Fame in Dannebrog, Nebraska."

Welsch explained that the contest is open only to amateur liars, stressing ;that politicians and fishermen are therefore ineligible.

Buethe edged out some tough competition, like third-place liar Nick Hornik of Norfolk, who claimed, "Back in the 1930s, the flies felt so guilty about eating our meager food supply, they all chipped in and bought us a new screen door."

Second-place honors went to Midge Cramer of Omaha, who stated, "Yep, I'm old. I remember when the Dead Sea was just a little sick!"

But it was Buethe who was named "official winner" with a certificate certifying that "He has as shown high distinction in the venerable American folk art of competitive prevarication, Olympic-grade, with a grade of first place!"

Buethe, or "Cactus Chris," as he is known to his fans, was honored for a poem that incorporated several classic tall tales and offered advice to wannabe masters of mendacity.

Welsch expressed regrets that the winning entry came from New Mexico, but in fact, Buethe has Nebraska roots.

"I grew up on a Nebraska farm where I learned to lie, and also worked on a Colorado Dude Ranch," he said.

His circuitous life journey to the Liars Hall of Fame sounds like a tall tale in itself, but it's true.

Buethe is a professor emeritus at Indiana State University in Terre Haute and a former Fulbright grantee to Tangier, Africa, a Ph.D who taught for 39 years, including a stint as a College of Education Science Teacher at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces from 1967 to 1972. He and his wife, Dee came back to Las Cruces in 1992.

His post-retirement poetry persona was inspired by a meeting with famed cowboy poet Baxter Black.

"I had no idea Baxter was from Las Cruces until we met," he said

Cactus Chris has since produced two books, "Wanna Be A Cowboy", and "Wanna Be A Cowboy Too", and a tape, "Cactus on the Road". His poems have appeared in several magazines and even on buses in four New Mexico cities as part of a New Mexico Arts project. He serves on planning boards for the Old West Festival and Cowboy Days at the New Mexico Farm & Ranch Museum in Las Cruces and has appeared at conventions, parties, dinners, health centers, poetry gatherings, schools and Elderhostels.

"I have recited original poetry in several states and Australia, and I'm still looking for rhymes to 'buckaroo,'", Cactus Chris proclaims.

He insists none of his fame as a cowboy poet compromises his amateur status as a liar.

When asked where his books are available, he had a ready answer.

"Right now, they're in my closet. If anybody wants a copy they can give me a call at (505)-521 0312".

Cactus Chris winning poem:

Hello, Husker Liars!

Yes folks, we will be havin' it out in Dannebrog

A liars contest'bout the wind, a storm, or singing hog.

They say that contest winnin' will bring a lyin' fame

And they're inviting ALL folks to try the lyin game.

It's Roger's contribution to culture once again,

Where you can share the tall of that rare Nebraska sin.

Just tell 'bout how your wife tried to bring the old bull in

Or the preacher having trouble explaining carnal sin.

Or how a fish jumped right in your icebound boat.

Or how you had to wrestle the neighbor's friendly goat.

So win a prize for lying; tell whoppers like they're true

"Bout hail turned into ice cream that fed the whole darned crew

With days so hot your cornfield popped like a cannon boom

And winds so strong they blew half a freight train through your room

But if you want to win big and really do it right,

Just tell the tale you told your wife when you came home late last night.

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In reply to a letter to the editor concerning a bit of trivia on the H.C. Clapp home:

Mr. Clapp did indeed have his initials engraved on his lavatory faucets. However, this might not have been that unique, since the "H" was engraved on the left hand faucet and "C" was engraved on the right hand faucet, not unlike many other lavatory faucets in McCook.  -- W.S.