"Oh, I have to remember to tell Danny about that," became a constant thought when we first began to learn what it meant to love each other.

My whole thought life became intertwined with him. No decision, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, was made without first considering his opinion or preference on the matter at hand. What was for dinner, where we would eat dinner, whether or not I would accept an overtime assignment, even what I would wear to specific events, became a decision made in light of the potential impact on his life as well as my own.

It has been a long process, not without its missteps, but even these many years later, I still make decisions based on the "we" of us rather than the "me"?of us.

Of course, making that transition was made a lot easier by his own reciprocal love and due consideration on his autonomous decisions.

However, before I could love him as fully as I wanted to, I first had to learn everything I could about him. I needed to know what made him happy. I needed to know what made him sad. What did he like to eat? What did he hate?

In those early days of courtship, we would forego sleep more often than not because he lived 18 miles due south of my parents' home and we attended different schools. Our face-to-face time was severely limited. Therefore, in the wee hours of the night, I would creep up the basement stairs from my bedroom to the kitchen wall phone where I would slowly and carefully dial his number, guiding the dial back to its starting position so that the phone didn't make any of those clicking, whirring noises common to that model. He would be sleeping in his mother's living room with the phone tucked under his pillow, answering on the first ring with a sleepy hello. We would whisper back and forth for hours with the phone call inevitably ending abruptly when I would hear a bedroom door latch release, signalling the start of another day.

In this way, we learned all there was to know about one another, having only 15 years to catch up on. As the years have passed, we have grown up together and it is easy to know how to love one another. In fact, we spoil each other terribly.

Scripture gives us brief glimpses of all there is to love about Jesus, if we will only seek them out.

We see him as a powerful healer when we walk with the lepers he touched.

We see him as a gentle teacher, welcoming the little children, and blessing them.

We see him as an able and generous provider on the hillsides, feeding thousands from a few loaves and fishes.

When we, knowing we are receiving what our deeds deserve, cry out "Remember me when you come into your kingdom," he hears and we see a powerful Savior.

And, when we hear the cry from the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," spoken on our behalf, we know the full measure of forgiveness.

When Jesus was asked, what is the greatest commandment, he replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37).

I'm not there yet. But I keep finding new things to love about him, in every page of Scripture. One day, perhaps, it really will be more about the "we" (or maybe the "he") of us than the "me" of us.

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21 (NIV)

Things you won't see in heaven: Unrequited love.