Today's reality shows have nothing on their early forerunners, the hidden camera videos recording people who thought they were alone and unobserved.

Suspicious parents set the video camera to catch a lazy or unusually hungry babysitter.

Roommates set up a camera hoping perhaps to catch a thief.

Employers wanted to get the goods on their unsupervised staff, were they as diligent as they claimed when no one was watching?

The closet video-graphers were in for a surprise.

Babysitters, not only lazy, but dangerously neglectful, if not out-and-out abusive.

Roommates, not thieves, but degenerates, using their absent roommate's toothbrush to scrub the toilet, then putting it back in the holder for the unsuspecting victim's use at the next brushing.

Employees, thinking themselves unobserved, spitting on food (or worse, and believe me, I saw worse), then serving it with a smile to their unsuspecting customers.

Ewww.

What kind of bitterness, resentment, sense of entitlement, envy or hatred inspires such behaviors? I have to wonder, did they think up these acts of retribution on the spur of the moment, or did they plot and plan through the dark watches of the night, selecting just the right payback for whatever offense, real or imagined, had been perpetrated against them?

I love photograph albums. Imagine my surprise when a relatively new acquaintance shared hers with me and I found several photos with a face cut out.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh, that's what's his name. We broke up, so I cut his face out of all of the pictures," came the reply.

And she had. Photo after photo, with a blank spot where a face once had appeared. How do people sustain that kind of anger? And with such a steady hand?

It's beyond me. I can't imagine there was any kind of healing taking place by such an action, in fact, at each viewing of the scarred photos, I suspect the anger resurfaced, hardened over time to hatred, a bitter and consuming emotion.

Bitterness. Anger. Retribution. Envy. Hatred.

Poison.

Poison as caustic and damaging as the harshest acid. Held in the heart. With every thought, going deeper, cutting into the flesh, wounding anew an already bleeding heart. Until finally, that heart turns to stone. Uncaring. Unfeeling. Unheeding. And unredeemable.

It was for this he came. It was for this he died. Hearts of stone, carrying burdens of guilt, resentment, jealousy and rage.

We do not turn the other cheek to offer ourselves to more abuse. We turn the other cheek to release revenge.

We do not give up our cloak along with our coat when our coat is demanded, we give up our cloak to open our hearts to healing.

We do not pour out mercy to those who use and abuse us because they are deserving of mercy. We pour mercy out so that it can flow back into our own hearts and restore us.

We do not refuse to keep a tally of wrongdoings because we don't know how to count, but to keep our burden light, our yoke easy.

Forgiveness. It frees us. It frees the very soul in which it is conceived. It roots out bitterness. It erases guilt. It eliminates anger. It softens the heart so the fruits of love, kindness and gentleness can grow. It releases us from the heavy burden known as retribution. It is the secret to the abundant life Christ promised.

And it is impossible to give it unless you have first received it. True forgiveness can come only from a heart that knows it. True forgiveness can only come from a heart that has been purified, cleansed and healed. We know when forgiveness is forced or manufactured. We know because the offense still stings. The offense still inspires hurt, anger and resentment. Because forgetting is hard. Forgetting is impossible without genuine forgiveness. But with it, it is possible. God forgets. As soon as it's forgiven, he's forgotten it. (Jeremiah 31:34) "What sin?" a popular song asks and answers, It is removed as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12) What sin indeed? We can know this kind of forgiveness. And we can give this gift, first given to us, until 7 times 70 if need be. (Matthew 18:21)

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you." Matthew 6:14, 15

Things you won't see in heaven: Video cameras