After all, red hearts and roses are everywhere.

Chocolate candies are bandied about.

Greeting card companies are gleefully rubbing both hands together as the cash registers go ca-ching.

And commercials for, of all things, pajamas, clog the airwaves.

Is there anything more consumer-driven than Valentine's Day?

And please, won't someone tell me the point of it all?

Our first Valentine's Day together was memorable. We went to Tac's for dinner. (It was a Chinese restaurant in a strip mall in Arvada, Colo., where I washed dishes on Friday nights. I have no idea what the name of the restaurant really was. Tac ran it, so Tac's it was.) But on this Valentine night, we were there for dinner and Danny presented me with a "promise ring," complete with a beautiful, albeit somewhat hard to see, genuine diamond chip. That was 35 years ago. I still have the ring. The diamond chip went missing long ago, nevertheless, I still hold Danny to the promise.

Eight years and 2 1/2 children later (I was pregnant for Patrick at the time) Valentine's Day had become somewhat less important, but still provided an opportunity for a card and small gift. I still carry part of the Valentine gifting I received that year. The size of a credit card, it fits neatly in my wallet and has stood the test of time for 27 years.

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day anymore. At least not on Feb. 14.

And it's not because we don't love each other. We do. More so with every passing year.

But proof of our love is not found in cards, letters, flowers and diamond rings.

It is found, however, in faithful commitment. It is found in the early morning smile that greets early morning halitosis. It is found in daylong hospital visits when health fails. It is found in memories that belong to no one but the two of us.

What does love look like?

Love is recording "Places in the Heart" during a bout of insomnia, faithfully pausing the recorder at every commercial break, because it is your wife's favorite all-time movie, then watching it with her all over again.

Love is setting up the coffee.

Love is taking out the trash.

Love is washing the dishes.

Love is making sauerkraut for dinner even if you can't stand the smell.

And love, contrary to a popular cultural definition, does not mean "Never having to say you're sorry." It means that you're willing to say you're sorry when you are. It means that you're willing to say you're sorry when you should, in fact, be sorry.

And love replies, "I forgive you."

Love is not a power play. Love is not one-up-manship. Love is not a carrot dangling from a stick, a motivator, a controller, or a quick toss in the hay. Love is not driving 900 miles cross-country to beset your rival. That is obsession and truly a sad state of mind.

Love, true love, is a gift from God. For God is love. Anything else, anything less, is nothing but a cheap imitation, a fraud and a lie. To love like God loves is far beyond our natural human ability, but he tells us how and he tells us why and he loves us with an everlasting love, demonstrating his love for us daily, and in so doing, he equips us to love as he loves.

And, whereas Valentine's Day, which used to be the exclusive holiday for lovers has been co-opted to include all kinds of relationships, so too, this love of God is not reserved only for our soul mates, but should extend from him, through us, to all.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Things you won't see in heaven: Broken promises