Growing up, I don't remember ever railing at my parents, "When I grow up and have kids, I'm not going to treat them the way you treat me!" as my sister sometimes did when a discipline seemed unfair to her.

But I thought it more than once.

The folks weren't afraid of using corporal punishment, even making us go and fetch our "belt of choice" when they felt our infraction was deserving. It's how they were raised and they saw nothing amiss in it. I was grounded more often than not it seemed, and I suppose if a tally were to be taken, I still owe them a few days here and there. One of their favorite methods of discipline they undoubtedly learned at their parents' feet as well, and it was this one I promised myself to never, ever use on my own children. It was the "shame and blame" discipline tactic. Most of you know the drill, either from personal experience or from close observation.

"Stupid."

"Idiot."

"You'll never amount to anything."

"Why did I have children in the first place?" and the all time favorite ... "How could you be so dumb?"

As we grew older, the shame game dropped to new lows and I well remember during my 15th year my dad's oft-repeated message, "I pity the man you marry."

I've no idea what he meant by that, but repetition and the unadulterated passion in his voice drove the point home and it cut to the very quick of me. He really meant it. He really did pity the man I married. That phrase probably had more to do with me leaving home for good at the tender age of 16 than anything else.

I was eventually reconciled with my family, for which I thank God every day, but that message and those that preceded it were deeply etched in my mind.

Danny and I agreed, long before any of our children were born, not to ever, ever stoop to similar verbal attacks. Since Danny's mom also had a phrase that cut him to the quick, "You'll never be this much of the man your father was." he had no trouble agreeing.

Harsh words, spoken in anger, cut deep.

After years of these shaming messages, you can imagine how incredulous I was the first time I learned that God did not see me the same way my parents did.

A dear sister in the Lord, aptly named Sunny, first brought this astounding truth to me during a one-on-one Bible study when I was in my late 20s.

I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. (Colossians 3:12)

I am a child of God. (John 1:12)

Imagine. The old shamed and shameful Dawn, a new creation, chosen, dearly loved, a daughter to the creator of the heavens and the earth. This was life-changing information for me. It still is. I'm still learning all that I am, and all that I can ever hope to be as a child of God. These messages and so many more have redefined me, erasing the messages of shame, freeing me to walk with confidence and joy. I know that even if no one else values anything about me, and sees only shame, Jesus sees me, his own, bought with a price, (1 Corinthians 6:20) and nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus his Son. (Romans 8:28)

These promises, this new identity, is available to anyone. All who believe and all who ever will believe can have this same joy and live in this same freedom, every day.

The Red Willow County Ministerial Association is bringing Dr. Neil Anderson to town this week and his message is full of the promises of freedom answered in Christ. If you can get there, go. Some of us need a refresher course. Others have yet to hear. Some of us have claimed promises ala carte, afraid to take too many, when the Lord has intended for us to have them all. All of us need to know that the words of promise are as true today as they were when they were first spoken on those Judean hillsides.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and yes even those who are persecuted, insulted and falsely accused. Because we also have this promise: "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.'" Matthew 25:34

And the greatest promise of all, which was first revealed on the outskirts of Bethany is ours as well. "And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, 'Loose him, and let him go.'" John 11:44

"Loose him and let him go." Not only from the graveclothes and the grave, but from the sin that entangles, the doubts that distract, the fear that paralyzes.

If we can live in that truth, and live out that truth in its entirety, then truly, we will live the abundant life promised in John 10:10 today and every day.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Things you won't see in heaven: Public stocks