The sweet taste of revenge

Revenge consists essentially of retaliation against a person or persons in response to a perceived wrongdoing. It is often connected to the concept of justice. The vengeful wish consists of forcing the wrongdoer to suffer the same pain they inflicted in the first place, or making sure that the wrongdoer doesn't inflict injury on anyone in the future.

The law, for example, is vengeful through its punishment philosophy. The law allows the people, through the judicial process, to "get back" at those who have committed wrongdoing by putting them in jail or even executing them for the crimes against society they have committed. Execution insures that the offender will never repeat his crime on anyone else. That is why many feel that, at the very least, the threat of revenge is necessary to maintain a just and equitable society. In fact, in some societies, it is believed that the injury inflicted in revenge should be greater than the original injury for its punitive effect.

Philosopher Martha Nussbaum writes: "The primitive sense of the just--remarkably constant from several ancient cultures to modern institutions--starts from the notion that a human life is a vulnerable thing, a thing that can be invaded, wounded, and violated by another's actions in many ways. For this offense, the only remedy that seems appropriate is a counter invasion, equally deliberate, and equally grave." Revenge is also discussed in the Bible. Leviticus 24:20 says "Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again."

Many believe that to not exact revenge for wrongdoings done to you is the ultimate sign of weakness and cowardice. If a person can wrong another person with no fear or dread that something similar might be exacted on him, what's to keep him from doing whatever he chooses, not only to a particular person but to others as well? We certainly see this philosophy applied at the highest levels of our government when countries, groups, or individuals transgress against us. The Libyan thug, Khadafi, was brought to his knees by an air attack on his home ordered by President Reagan, that left him marginal and impotent on the world stage, never to be seen as a threat again. The current war in Iraq is a direct result of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack. The message is clear: Mess with us and we'll mess with you.

Revenge is especially appropriate when the harmed did nothing to justify the injury imposed on them. Often times people make decisions that reflect badly on them and then, rather than accepting blame and responsibility for their own behavior, they blame the situation they find themselves in on others. This is one of the innate failings of man; the inability to be responsible for our own behavior that we then compound by taking our failings out on someone else that was innocent of any wrongdoing. If we are victimized by this kind of unwarranted attack, failure to respond not only gives the attacker a false sense of satisfaction that they did the right thing, but also a perception that their tactics worked which will eventually lead to similar attacks on others.

I was at a local club some time ago on a weekend night when a couple of people I know got into a scuffle with each other. They were asked to leave by management and as I was standing close to the front door talking to the doorman, we noticed that the two were still having a discussion out in the parking lot. One man turned to walk away and, as he did, he was sucker punched in the temple by the other man. The blow was so vicious that the assaulted man dropped to the ground like a rock. I thought he was dead and the doorman and I both rushed to his side. As the offender jumped in his vehicle and left, the man who was hit was out like a light. We made sure he had a pulse and then started attempts to revive him which we were able to do.

Unfortunately, he thought he was in North Platte instead of McCook. We made arrangements to have him taken home. I saw him a few days later and he thanked me for coming to his aid. I asked him if he intended to retaliate and he said of course he would.

That he would pick the time and the place when the other person least expected it. He wanted to lull his attacker into thinking that retribution was not coming. Until it did.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold" is a phrase that is used to describe his plan. This means that emotional detachment and planning ("cold blooded") are best for taking revenge and a great deal of time is necessary for both planning and the "sweet" feeling of revenge that results from ones' actions.

We live in a tenuous existence with others. Many people "turn the other cheek" when wronged which only sets them up to be wronged again. Intentionally hurting someone else, whether it be physically, emotionally, or psychologically, shows a complete lack of respect for the victim and the victims' failure to respond validates that lack of respect. Others do not let evil deeds go unpunished and their reputation for that spreads through the countryside quickly.

"You shouldn't mess with him" is a message that usually does not go unheeded, except by fools. As strange as it may seem, revenge makes orderly society possible because, without it, anarchy and survival of the meanest would reign.

Machiavelli was asked in "The Prince" whether it was better to rule through fear or love. He quickly replied "fear" because he said you can make people fear you but you cannot make people love you.

Unfortunately, some of the worse abuse comes from those we do love. One of the most hurtful experiences anyone can have is to see those you loved with all your heart turn against you.

Someone you gave a second chance in life to by showing them a side of love they had never experienced before goes from being a soulmate to a foe. So, even though the thrust of this column has focused on the need to keep people "honest" by refusing to be a victim, the opposite is also true.

No good deed goes unpunished.