Things I've learned while fishing

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Over the last eight years, I've learned a lot from Brad about fishing and hunting.

Up until last year, we'd never fished from a boat. Instead, we would sit in the shade of the trees that line the banks of the area lakes, sip our sodas and wait.

We never waited long. We found our favorite fishing hole threw our lines out into the lake as far as we could get them, Not once did we go home skunked.

Now we have a boat. It worked the first time we took it out on the lake, it zoomed across the lake to the area where we had fished from the bank the year before. We cast out our lines and fished as close to the bank as we could get. We came home without even one fillet to throw in the frying pan.

The second time we took it out, the propeller broke and instead of zooming across the lake enjoying the feeling of the waves washing beneath us, we rode along at about 5 miles an hour, barely able to get through the breaks caused by the other boats zooming around us. We still ended up skunked.

These are the lessons I've learned about fishing:

1. If you're fishing from the bank, you have to throw your line out as far as it will go.

2. If you're fishing from a boat, you have to get it as close to the bank as you can without getting it tangled up in the branch of a tree.

3. It's hard to start a boat engine when you're stuck in the middle of a bunch of reeds.

4. If you are in a boat, you have to stay in one spot despite the kind of luck you're having, because eventually, a whole school of record-setting white bass is going to see the shiny lure at the end of your pole and come rushing from the other side of the lake to investigate.

5. When you are in a boat, the call of nature is a lot easier for men to address than it is for women.

6. If, after you've jumped in the water, you don't want to stay in the water for the entire fishing trip, you should take a ladder with you.

7. Expect to stay on the boat for at least six hours. One hour will be spent fishing, the remainder of the time will be spent trying to fix the motor.

8. Put the plug in the boat before you put it in the water.

9. Make sure your license plate is still on the trailer when you head for the lake.

10. If the motor wasn't running right the last time you took it out, don't be fooled into believing that magic boat fairies have come along and fixed it while it's been sitting in your back yard for the last year-and-a-half.

In conclusion, I'd like to quote from a good friend and co-worker, Dave Mefford.

"The two happiest day in a man's (or woman's) life is the day he (or she) buys a boat and the day he (or she) sells it."

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