When's a hamster have a headache?

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail the other day relating real life questions that had been asked in the courtroom. I read it at least a week ago.

Another friend received it Tuesday. She giggled and guffawed throughout the entire reading.

One of the quips told of a lawyer, who asked a coroner if he was sure the subject was dead when he began to perform an autopsy. The coroner explained that the patient's brain had been removed and was sitting on the counter when the autopsy began.

"But are you sure he was dead?" the attorney asked.

"I guess not," the coroner responded. "He could have been off somewhere practicing law for all I know."

That got her laughing.

For some reason, it reminded her of a time when she too had proven herself a little less sharp than some of the other nails in the tool shed. She relayed the story to me. I told her I was going to relay it to my readers -- I hope she's still talking to me this afternoon.

It seems that several years ago, she heard a report on the radio that rodents, such as gerbils, hamsters and the like could be carrying a fatal disease and that disease could be spreading to humans.

This caused her grave concern, since she and her husband owned gerbils and hamsters as pets.

She tried to listen closely to the radio in order to understand the signs and symptoms associated with the disease, but when the report was over, she had more questions.

She called the radio station to have her questions answered. She asked the reporter to go over the symptoms again.

He explained that the disease caused head-aches, nausea, fever and several other symptoms. When he finally finished with his explanation, my co-worker was baffled.

"But," she asked the radio reporter, "How do you know if a hamster has a headache?"

Spring has finally arrived. I know that because every weed in my yard is beginning to turn green. Not the grass mind you -- not the little buds that are starting to show up on some of our trees and bushes, just the weeds.

Dandelions are already beginning to blossom. The crabgrass is beginning to attach itself to everything that stands in an upright position and the lovely little goat's heads are attaching themselves to the dogs' feet on a regular basis.

It is kind of nice to hear the frogs croaking in the bottom behind our house, obviously enjoying the runoff from the recent snows. It would be even nicer if they stayed down there, since every time Max sees one, he thinks he needs to dig it up and toss it around a few times. All this while he is lathering at the mouth and gagging, as though someone had dumped a bottle of dish detergent down his throat. If that isn't bad enough, he has to come over to us and share the foam -- obviously believing that we are in serious need of a shower. We usually are by the time he's done with us.

Actually, Max's frog obsession can work to my advantage. I'll just start planting a flower or shrub in every hole he digs up to find his next frog.

Ah! Isn't spring grand. I can hardly wait till next weekend when we have an extra hour in the evening to do yard work and try to keep the dogs from relieving themselves on my freshly raked weed patch.

You never know though, they could be carrying some new disease that causes constipation. I could only be so lucky.