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The bane of big families
The commercials directed at families with lots of kids and lots of stuff are becoming more common on the airwaves. A large SUV rolls down the highway, the two parents, three children and one dog laughing and singing, the reason for their joyfulness obvious: They have more room in their vehicle than everyone else and are therefore happier.
(What the ad doesn't show is dad whipping out his wallet to pay for the painful fill-up.) At the end of the 30-seconds, the ann-ouncer declares that the behemoth is the perfect vehicle for all large families.
While I question whether three or even four children constitutes a large family, the vehicle maker is correct that large families are in a class all their own when they are contemplating a new family ride.
With today's smaller families, mom and dad can at least start the buying process with the assumption that just about any car they select is going to hold everyone. They can have heated, leather bucket seats in every row and every one will still fit.
A large family does not have that luxury. The idea of pulling into a car lot, picking their favorite color and driving home that afternoon with a new vehicle is not going to happen. Seating requirements come first and foremost and consequently limits the vehicle choices.
And just because there may technically be enough seats and seat belts to match the number of people in the family, the vehicle still may not work ... thanks to car seats.
Anyone who uses car seats on a regular basis knows that they take up at least 1.5 seats. Install two or three car seats, which can easily happen with a grouping of small children, and the seating arrangement has suddenly decreased from eight to a tight seven seats.
I usually have a special reward for the poor child who has to sit in the rear seat -- torture in its own right -- between two car seats. That configuration usually leaves a total of 6 inches for the child in the middle.
And we wonder why they fight so much on road trips.
Actually, there is a perfect vehicle al-ready out there on the market, usually available with just a little searching. It is a stretch limousine.
Let's overlook the gas mileage of a limo, which I can only guess is measured not in miles per gallon but more likely gallons per mile. But the positives are numerous.
Start with the length of the car. What causes the most problems on road trips?
Someone accidentally touches someone else and it sounds like World War III has broken out in the back seat.
But in a limo, ideally, everyone has ample space and can only touch each other if they actually get up and walk across the car.
Then there is the glass partition between the driver and the riders, a feature which should be offered as an option on most vehicles.
With the glass in the up-position, parents won't care what kid is brushing against what kid. They won't hear them. And then there is the built in refrigerator and mini-bar.
After they are done refereeing, what do parents spend the remainder of their time doing on a road trip? Distributing drinks and snacks every three miles. If the kids can just reach in the fridge for a drink or into the cabinet for a snack, mom may actually have time to read that book she bought some time during the end of the last century.
Regularly on the lookout for vehicles for a large family, I often wonder how large families traveled together generations ago. When I say large families, I mean when it was not uncommon for a family to have 10, 11 or 12 kids.
Of course, this was before seat belts and car seats limited the number of bodies could cram into a vehicle. Mom's lap, big sister's knee, the floor by the rear seat all served as additional seats.
With just a little bit of thought, I can answer my own question: They couldn't afford to take that many people very far in the first place so they didn't need an expansive vehicle.
Just a little bit of creativity for the activity and a bit more creativity in cramming everyone in the vehicle.