I heard someone advertising an infrared spotting camera used by hunters that might just help me capture an image of one.

I'm not talking about BigFoot or the Loch Ness Monster. I'm talking about pedestrians who actually use the B Street crossings in downtown McCook.

To use the crossing correctly, shoppers approaching the crossing have to make a 90 degree turn, take a couple of steps, make another 90 degree turn, then follow the painted crosswalk in the intersection across the highway. If they value their lives, they'll wait until the "walk" sign is on.

Instead, most of us headed down the sidewalk just look left and right and head across the road. The more observant among us may wonder why the curbs have funny curves and slants, and the crosswalk is painted 10 feet off to one side.

I suppose the phantom pedestrians are the same people who drive south half a block after leaving the movie, exit the Westview Plaza parking lot across from McDonald's, and then head north on U.S. Highway 83.

There must be a few of them around, but I've never seen one. I would go on a stakeout to try to spot one, but the drivers cutting across the storm drain in the Wendy's parking lot would probably block my view.

I've offered to man a jackhammer to remove the islands preventing a lefthand turn at the south Wendy's exit, but it's probably just as well no one's taken me up on it.

The last time I rented one, our telephone service mysteriously disappeared.

Then again, judging by some recent bills, maybe a jackhammer isn't such a bad thing.

It's probably just me, but the entrance to the new school looks like trouble.

Besides being irresistible skateboarder bait, the big concrete slab looks like job security for the teachers or paraprofessionals who will spend their time keeping adventuresome youngsters off of their own private playground.

I just know if I were a third grader again, it would be awfully tempting.