One of the most difficult things to deal with in this world is the death of a loved one. Whether their death is an unexpected shock or a desired end to their suffering, it is still a time that can be very overwhelming to those left behind. The last thing the family wants to think about are all the details that must be handled.

When will we have the funeral? Where shall we have it? Whom do we want to do the service? What songs do we want sung and by whom? Where do we want the burial? Whom do we pick to be pallbearers? At times, the grieving family must feel like retreating and not dealing with anything related to their loved one's funeral.

There are several groups of women in our community who in their own small way extend help and healing to these families. They offer comfort and compassion, along with some needed nourishment, to these bereaving families. These ladies are the cooks and servers of funeral dinners in our local churches, and they are the topic of this "Good Deeds" column.

When I started to research this column, I thought I would call every church in McCook and talk to the head of the funeral dinner committee to find out how they organize and pull off the task of feeding families and friends after a funeral. A quick glance at the phone book soon made me realize that there are over 20 churches in McCook. While I'm thrilled at the high number of congregations in a town our size, I realized that I'd never get this column done if I had to contact all of them. So for the sake of brevity, I got in touch with four of the larger denominations in McCook; the Evangelical Free Church, St. Patrick's Catholic Church, McCook Christian Church and Memorial United Methodist Church.

It is remarkable how alike all four of these churches are in handling funeral dinners served in their building. The means, methods, and menus are very similar between these congregations, although each church does it a little differently. But the main mission and purpose of all the churches that serve these dinners is to offer the families a good meal, a relaxing atmosphere, and a time of support and community after their loss.

The McCook Christian Church is extremely organized in the way the funeral dinner duties are delegated. The church has several kitchen committees, made up of seven to ten women, who serve for three months at a time. They are responsible for preparing and serving any funeral dinners that occur during their shift. When a funeral is to take place in their church, the head of the current committee is contacted and she calls the rest of the group to come help prepare and serve the meal. To make it easy the same meal; ham, potatoes, green beans, rolls, salads and cakes; are served for each dinner. There is no charge to the family. McCook Christian usually averages about 10 funerals a year.

Annie Oakley is the funeral dinner coordinator for the Evangelical Free Church in McCook. There are committees that she calls to help in the kitchen for the dinners. A calling tree in the church is utilized to find people to donate salads and cakes. The meal is served buffet style and there are two choices; a cold meal of sandwiches or a hot meal of ham, scalloped potatoes, and green beans. I hate to play favorites, but their green beans sound wonderful, as Annie prepares them with cheese and cream. Donations are accepted, but not expected, from the family. Last year they had six funeral dinners they served in their church.

Over at St. Patrick's Catholic Church, Marilyn Malleck is in charge of the funeral dinners. Cecille Knepper assists by doing the calling to find workers to help in the kitchen or to bring cakes and salads. They also have two types of dinners they can serve; a hot meal with ham and scalloped potatoes or a cold meal with sandwiches. There is no set cost for the meal; it is whatever the family wishes to give. In 2003 they had 14 funeral dinners they served.

At Memorial United Methodist Church, Elaine Mizell has been in charge of coordinating the funeral dinners since 1998. She contacts one of nine different funeral coordinators and then calls workers to help serve or to bring salads and desserts. The meal is whatever the coordinator and the family decides upon.

Ham is a favorite, along with chicken casserole, marinated chicken breasts, beef stroganoff or chicken noodle soup. The Methodist Church had 30 funerals that they served meals for last year. One week saw five funerals at the church and another time there were two funerals on the same day.

For that day, one meal was served in the main kitchen in the basement and the other used the kitchen and dining area in the Youth Center on the top floor. As with the other churches, there is no charge for the meal, with donations decided by the family.

I'm sure you noticed the theme of ham and scalloped potatoes that seems to dominate the funeral dinner menus for these churches. It is an easy and economical way to feed 100 people or more. My friend, Jane Shield, hails from Sterling, Colo., and over the course of many years has attended several funerals there for family members and friends. Jane told me that she is glad that Sterling's version of "funeral casserole" is not served here in McCook. I believe it is what most people would call "Tator Tot Casserole" and its ingredients are hamburger, green beans and tator tots. Personally, I like the stuff, but Jane doesn't and has made me promise that we won't serve it at her funeral. Also, she wants no irises for any of her bouquets. She considers them to be "funeral flowers" and can't stand the sight of them. I never realized being raised in Colorado could make anyone so opinionated!!

I spoke with Donna Hall, a funeral director at Carpenter-Breland Funeral Home about her perspective on the funeral dinners that local churches serve. Donna believes that they are wonderfully beneficial and are a very loving gesture for the church to offer the family. She has observed that many family members who attend a funeral come from a distance away and having a meal after the funeral gives everyone a chance to get together and visit. It usually turns out to be a calm and tranquil visit, filled with laughter, smiles, and reminiscing.

So our thanks go out to these caring church ladies who share their time, their energy and their culinary talents with families who have suffered a loss. What might seem like a small gesture to these women means so very much to a grieving spouse, child, sibling, or friend. We don't look forward to being a recipient of their kindness and generosity, but when the time arrives, we will appreciate their work more than they will know.

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Heritage Days was absolutely wonderful this year. Hats off to the Chamber of Commerce and everyone who worked so hard to make it such a huge success. Last weekend we had Phil's brother Billy from Arizona, his sister Carol from California and a family friend, Hans Maerki from France staying with us while attending a class reunion. This was their first Heritage Days and they attended as many of the festivities as they could.

The thing that most impressed them was the parade on Saturday morning. They couldn't believe all the entries and the number of people who lined the streets of McCook to watch. They applauded, they laughed, they cheered, and they tried to catch candy just like the rest of us. Afterwards, Carol remarked to me what a wonderful time she had and how "Norman Rockwell-ish" it all was.

I am so proud of my hometown and the way it represented itself last weekend. It's nice to have out-of-town visitors who remind us that what we have here is very special and coveted by them.

While we might not have the activities, the stores, the excitement or the jobs that larger communities have, we possess something that's even more important. We have good people who care about their town, their families, and each other.

And I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Thanks for the reminder McCook!