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Lessons learned at graduation
The upcoming weeks are going to be quite busy -- what with the primary election, weddings and trying to guess if the temperature is going to stay above freezing or hit triple-digits.
While I can't make any predictions about the weather and won't make any predictions about the election, graduations are within my experience.
After 12 long years (13 if you count kindergarten, 14 if your parents shipped you off to preschool and 15 if you figure in all the hours watching Sesame Street), graduation is finally here.
My friends and I honestly started counting down the days to high school graduation somewhere in our junior year. Now, more than a decade after that momentous occasion, the only time I have time to count that far in advance is to my due dates.
As someone who didn't like sitting through my own graduations, much less someone else's ceremony, here's a little advice for graduates, as well as those in the audience:
First, set a goal for yourself. Don't go for the obvious such as staying awake or hoping your parents don't embarrass you by yelling and clapping throughout the ceremony.
Rather, set a long-term goal. See if you can remember the name of the commencement speaker -- five years later.
For those high-achievers, try to remember at least one thing the speaker said.
My husband has been a commencement speaker and I bet if you asked him, he couldn't even tell you anything he has said.
Next, don't worry about tripping or stumbling as you cross the stage to accept your diploma. At least you will be remembered for something.
Finally, don't spend the entire ceremony looking for your parents and family in the audience. You'll just hurt your neck.
And parents, don't sit and wave, trying to get the graduate's attention, during the entire ceremony. The graduate won't be able to spot you among the hundreds of other waving, yelling parents. Also, see note above about parents embarrassing their children.
Graduation also can serve as the final learning experience of a high school career.
A few important lessons I learned from my graduation:
I was the sixth tallest girl in my class. Until that point, we had only been compared by grade point average, test scores and our ability to do sit-ups in P.E.
For some reason, we were arranged by height at graduation, not by name. We also were separated from the boys, apparently so we wouldn't tower over them as we walked into the gym.
For graduation, we learned how to effectively hide bottles of silly string, beach balls, blow-up girls and air-horns underneath our robes, although some people bulged around the mid-section a little more than others. The confiscation process just gave the administrators something constructive to do during the ceremony.
We also learned how many marbles our vice principal's pockets could hold. For future reference, marbles are hard to hold as you go to shake a hand upon receiving the diploma. Bottle caps are much easier to conceal.
And as you prepare for an afternoon of graduation parties complete with eating and drinking and more eating, one final piece of advice:
That first class reunion is only five years away. Time to start that diet.