A plea for patience

Sleepless nights are dreadful ... frustrating ... never-ending ...

Thoughts run rampant, tumbling over each other in the dark.

Mary Ellen Goodenberger of rural Trenton admits she has never been a good sleeper. "Four hours of sleep a night and a good weekend nap," is how she explains her sleeping patterns during college.

Later, her husband, Marvin, would tell her, "Think calm thoughts."

That became even harder to do after Marvin -- Mary Ellen's best friend and soul mate -- died, far too soon.

Mary Ellen turned to a yellow note pad to help her get through those long, almost-unbearable nights after Marvin died in March 1999. Her collection of pages turned into a book, called "Letters for the Literate and Related Writing," published earlier this year by Writers Club Press, iUniverse Inc., of Lincoln.

Mary Ellen writes: "It's projects like this one which help keep me sane, reconcile me to living the rest of my life as half a person."

Mary Ellen dedicates her book to the man with whom she shared more than half a century.

She credits Marvin, her family, family life in general and years and years of teaching -- and learning -- for the experiences that would become "Letters for the Literate."

Mary Ellen's thoughts at night found their way onto paper, crowded between the lines and squeezed into the margins. In the morning, she transferred the polished thoughts onto her electronic typewriter. There was very little, if any, rewriting at this stage, she said. "I had done all the thinking on that mangled page," she chuckled.

Mary Ellen muses now, "I probably should have censored some things in the broad light of day." But, she added, a teacher once told her not to worry about the Ps and Qs, to just let the words flow. At times, she reads out loud what she's written. She said, "I dearly love the language."

"Letters" is not quite a novel. And it's more than a reference guide for writers. The publisher puts it in the category of family stories.

Mary Ellen said a friend called her book, "a comfort read." "I'm so concerned with people having upheavals in their lives," Mary Ellen said. "We all need a comfort read."

Other friends have recognized people in the book -- identified only by their initials. Members of Mary Ellen's close-knit family are identified by name or nickname. The family has given the book their blessings, Mary Ellen said. "They're cool with it," she chuckled.

"Letters" includes a couple chapters Mary Ellen calls "teacherish," in which she shares favorite thank-you notes and demystifies job resumés.

"Family History" opens with family photos. "People relate to family histories," Mary Ellen said. "I'm always preaching: get these stories before the story-tellers are gone."

"Books, Our Boon Companions" describes her love of books and reading, her love of the language.

Mary Ellen's favorite chapter in the book is "Of Cabbages and Kings," which shares her deeply-held beliefs about raising children. Mary Ellen agrees wholeheartedly with the education philosophy of a school for which she was curriculum director: that every individual is a totally unique creation and that each one is special.

In "Letters," Mary Ellen says to parents: Talk to babies, read to children, teach them to laugh, prepare them to be responsible and accept the consequences of their own acts.

Mary Ellen believes "Of Cabbages and Kings" would also have been Marvin's favorite chapter. " ... because he was so child-oriented. He was just a nut about children, and they were so attracted to him," she said.

"Of Cabbages and Kings" isn't a classroom lecture from a teacher. These are the beliefs Mary Ellen and Marvin put into use on their own three children. "Our kids are useful people," Mary Ellen said, adding quietly, "What Dad and I hoped they would be."

"Letters" is a bit of an English lesson, a bit of a novel. Some philosophy ... some social comment.

It's a plea for tolerance, when views differ. And views will always differ.

"Letters" is a plea for patience, and compassion, when someone's life is in upheaval. And always, someone's life will be in upheaval.

It's "over the backyard fence" advice for teens, for parents, for those who think they're "old" and less valuable because of it.

Writing "Letters" was therapy for Mary Ellen. Reading it is "a comfort" for the rest of us.

-- The book is available at "The Book End" in McCook. Mary Ellen will sign copies of her book at the book store, at 305 Norris on Thursday from 10 a.m. until 5:30 p.m.