Chinglish Is #1

Every region eventually develops their own dialect. New slang words or phrases seemingly pop up out of thin air and language becomes a living, breathing entity; Always changing, Darwinism in your inner ear. So, it's no surprise that each part of the world has their own version of English as well. It's often wrong, or direct translations from their language. It makes sense to them. Here are a few examples of what I've personally seen.

"You're welcome."

This by itself has no great effect, but I saw it while leaving a supermarket. So the store decided that it did me a favor by allowing me to buy food. How can I ever thank you enough.

"Thank you for your custom."

This was when I was walking out of a restaurant. They meant "Thank you for Being our Customer!" However, they chose to thank me for my uncanny ability to shake hands like a mad man and arm wrestle with fierce bestiality. Er...yeah.

Here are some others of various language errors I found at ESLDepot.com

Hotel bedroom, Japan:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Doctor's surgery, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Hotel, Acapulco:

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Hotel air conditioner instructions, Japan:

COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Zoo, Hungary:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Restaurant, Nairobi:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Men's restroom, Japan:

TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

Poster:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

Restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory:

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Maternity ward:

NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

Cemetery

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Bar, Tokyo:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Temple, Bangkok:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Japanese public bath:

FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

Hotel bedroom, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Newspaper, East Africa:

A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED

Laundry, Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Enjoy.