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Sharply Dressed

Posted Saturday, August 8, 2009, at 7:53 AM

(Photo)
Do Clothes Make The Man?
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a younger man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The young man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The fellow then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, ultra-high speed, miniaturized, HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says...

"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud."

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Suddenly, Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman from the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep..."

"Now give me back my dog."


Comments
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Slicker,

First time I heard this one was outside San Angelo, Texas -- and the rancher was raising goats.

The one selected by the expert for his payment was a nursing quarter horse foal.

Haven't heard it for years -- it is still funny.

As Will Rogers said so perfectly,

"Every time Congress passes a law, it is a joke."

"Now folks, that wouldn't be so bad -- except --

"Every time a congressman tells a joke -- it becomes a law!"

I love "politician and lawyer jokes" -- we need a new set for the financial loan bureaucrats -- these are the current breed of red tape idiots.

-- Posted by HerndonHank on Mon, Aug 10, 2009, at 7:32 PM

Brian,

Enjoyed your post. Thanks for sharing.

-- Posted by BuffRoam on Sun, Aug 9, 2009, at 6:08 PM


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