I got an email from a friend of mine in Colorado Territory with the following story that reminds me that no matter how smart you are, there is someone out there likely to be a lot more clever. I've heard some fun stories from locals of dealing with trespassers, so the following doesn't sound like too much of a stretch. I can almost imagine my farming neighbors in the following situation, and suppose this is old information among rural folks, but for those of us uninformed people in the area...
A big city lawyer went pheasant hunting in rural Nebraska. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, 'I shot a pheasant and it fell onto this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
The old farmer replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'
The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that pheasant, I'll sue you and take everything you own.'
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Western Nebraska. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.''
The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule?'
The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's ankle that dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer to all fours and his third sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old codger. Now it's my turn.'
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said , 'Na, I give up. You can have the bird.'