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Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

I Really Want My Neighbors' Car

Posted Thursday, October 27, 2011, at 5:27 AM

(Photo)
I really want my neighbors' car
the smartypants has gone to far
just cuzz he works like eighty hours a week
showin' off with that SUV in front of me
Hey, I could have had a car like that
but my shoes were untied
the sun was in my eyes
I was spanked too hard during potty training
I don't know, maybe I was dropped on my head as a kid
but I am the victim here
I really want my neighbors' car.

An SUV is bad for the Earth you see
unless the person you see behind the wheel is me
I'm only taklin' 'bout what is fair
he'd give me his car if he really cared
I have a right to health care, condoms and the Internet
I've gone to public school, I know what I deserve to get
The government even owes me a job
whenever feel like working
and so close to Utopia I could begin to see
if my neighbors' car were given to me

I've got to send off my wish list to Barack
thank you for the health care
but it is not enough
times like this, you've got to be rough
on them rich guys
They stole my tooth fairy money and my piggy bank
and while I watched Oprah
my neighbor went to work
still no reason for him to be a jerk
I am never to blame that I did not go far
just give me my neighbors' car

You owe me.


Comments
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Got this is my email today; kind of long but decided it was worth sharing with all my pessimistic and optimistic frieds.

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

No one can make you serve customers well.....that's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice..' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'

Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd..'

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.

'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message

On my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was

Suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands! A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... Let us do good to all people.

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.

Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

-- Posted by doodle bug on Thu, Oct 27, 2011, at 11:20 AM

I, Too

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.

They send me to eat in the kitchen

When company comes,

But I laugh,

And eat well,

And grow strong.

Tomorrow,

I'll be at the table

When company comes.

Nobody'll dare

Say to me,

'Eat in the kitchen,'

Then.

Besides,

They'll see how beautiful I am

And be ashamed-

I, too, am America.

Langston Hughes

-- Posted by Benevolus on Thu, Oct 27, 2011, at 3:49 PM

E-Gads, Sam, your bringing the artisan out in us. I read your article, and dashed off to formulate a poem of my own, only I just stuck it on in under my name. I guess you and the others, if you wish to see, need come read my last two offerings. Hey, even the third, about the Cherokee Rite of Passage, would fit this blog of yours. Yeee-Haaa!!! Wake-um up, and let's take back the government of We the People.

Keep them coming, Sam. We need to discuss what is trying to happen to our country, through the administration we foolishly allowed.

-- Posted by Navyblue on Thu, Oct 27, 2011, at 4:36 PM

Wow. Who has ever heard of a Conservative poetry dual?

I think I just fell in love with this website.

-- Posted by Benevolus on Thu, Oct 27, 2011, at 5:08 PM

Spreading hatred helps

Jesus clearly hates the poor

and so I do too

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 12:41 AM

The non-producers complaining about the producers. *Sigh*

Sorry - we're supposed to contribute verse:

Oh give me a home - where the free men can roam...

and not have all the responsibility to pay...

for every concern, that the liberals yearn...

And Obama is on unemployment - hooray!!

-- Posted by Mickel on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 10:36 AM

Love the story doodle-bug. I have had two businesses where I took radical steps toward excelling in customer service - the first exceeded my expectations and helped me to become permanently independant.

The second will start playing out next year - so far, the customers taking advantage are thrilled. I'll actually be making less money the first two years; but the customer loyalty is what I'm shooting for.

-- Posted by Mickel on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 10:39 AM

There are those that claim the poor are dragging us all down. Their lack of skills and error of choice are there to plainly see. From matted hair to dirty clothes they are shunned by all in town. If only they could see the light and be like you and me.

They curse the rich and wealthy and say that life's not fair. With all that I have given I wonder how that could be. Surely the wealthy trickle down provided them a share. If only they could see the light and be like you and me.

Now so many have joined them being a victim of the trap. If I had just one more tax break and maybe one for thee. We could surely help them and save their worn boot straps. If only they could see the light and be like you and me.

Our investments are accruing and jobs we'll soon create. We just need a tax holiday for our earnings kept overseas. The timing is pure coincidence regardless of what others may state. If only they could see the light and be like you and me.

-- Posted by Geezer on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 10:42 AM

Up, the conservative mind is made

So oft with logic waylaid

If intelligence could be loaned;

Hatred for countrymen post-poned

The conservative would be less afraid.

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 11:18 AM

Benevolus,you just don't understand. Conservatives (and Jesus) don't hate the 'Poor,' only the 'Grabbers,' those too lazy, and too demanding of having an Unearned Share, in what others actually work hard for.

One of my lifelong mentors was a 'poor' man, more and more, as I learned to understand him. I found him to be one of the 'Richest' men I have ever known. Mr. Riley, was his name, with boo-koo kids, living in a shack, in Shorty Jones' Junk Yard,South of Chief Motel (then, post WW-II), taking any and all kinds of work, to feed, and raise, his family, refusing most all the 'assistance' our, then fledgling, welfare department system tried to force upon him and his. He thanked them, kindly, but stuck to his guns, in that 'Poor' doesn't mean 'without money,' only 'without Pride.'

Jesus told the Rich man to go give away all he owned, and then he could come and follow His Lead. The Rich guy slunk away.

To one and all: This has been a great experience, for me, watching a debate/opinionation gallery of individual poetic thoughts. From your words of poetic wisdom, I believe I see one or three more poems to develope.... I'll let you all know. Yeee-Haaa!!! Going Home soon, just don't quite know when. AMEN

Quick, Sam, start authoring another article we can take poetic license to. Perhaps, the fun is just beginning to start, even more friendly, even. (^8

-- Posted by Navyblue on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 11:45 AM

Benevolus, I am disappointed. Your tome, to me, paints all conservatives with the same broad brush. I think you could just as easily substitute the word "liberal" for "conservative" and the tome would still ring true. I wont comment on the rest of the poetic attempts due to their (you fill in the word).

-- Posted by doodle bug on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 11:57 AM

Apparently poetry reading is not a strength of this board.

Note the operative word "oft".

If the conservatives on this board cannot "often" be characterized by a lack of logic and intelligence then you aren't paying much attention. In fact, most of the level-headed posters have already agreed with the content of the poem. By my count 3, maybe 4 posters are here to anything but hate.

LIBERALS!! Ther so DUMB! They hate business and they LIE! They want Merica to FAIL! And they LOVE B. Gahdaffi Hussien Hitler MAO-BAMA!

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 12:04 PM

LIBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 1:10 PM

I don't like you cause yer a LIBERAL POETRY WRITING ROBOT!! Conservatives like numbers an math and Jesus. Not pomes and LIBS!

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 1:52 PM

I have a colleague who is an eminent bot-watcher and an expert in the scopolamine conspiracy, I will summon him at once. He will want to hear this.

-- Posted by უილიამ ი on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 7:16 PM

@ უილიამ ი,

this wouldnt be william levy would it? just curious is all.

-- Posted by BTWinecleff on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 7:35 PM

Did my rippling abs give it away?

-- Posted by უილიამ ი on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 7:49 PM

Please, allow me to give my sincerest apologies to the board. I failed to log out after my last post (Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 10:33 AM) and my bonehead roommate decide to begin posting under my name.

I hope you will regard the discourteous and mocking tone that ensued, and forgive my oversight. I can assure everyone that I will not let this happen again.

-- Posted by Benevolus on Fri, Oct 28, 2011, at 8:05 PM

Benevolus, I posted this on the other blog but will repeat it with an addition. I will accept your explanation. I was wondering what happened to the Benevolus I used to correspond with. I had sincerely hoped you had not really sunk to steffanies level.

-- Posted by doodle bug on Sat, Oct 29, 2011, at 9:42 AM

Thanks Doodle bug, I enjoy our conversations. I assure you that I have not sunk to the level of stefffanie.

-- Posted by Benevolus on Sat, Oct 29, 2011, at 2:45 PM

Help is on the way conbots. Fear not.

-- Posted by უილიამ ი on Mon, Oct 31, 2011, at 12:20 AM

Listen to me son, when I say...

something bad is coming down...

purge us of the carnage started...

help to set it right, again. I said..

You know I never quit, I don't want help with it;

One more time then you see, I'm still a hypocrite.

And I got everything that I wanted.

And I got what I deserved.

And I got nothing, nothing.

Tell you my lie, live another...

never saw it coming around...

didn't think I hurt anybody...

then I went and hurt myself again.

And now I pay the price, I never saw a choice.

Was blind but now I see, my life of hypocrisy.

And I got everything that I wanted.

And I got what I deserved.

And I got nothing, nothing.

(copyright by Angst, 1996)

-- Posted by Mickel on Tue, Nov 1, 2011, at 7:58 PM


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