In the middle of great political debates, there are always calls for the left and right to work together. I remember from my public school days, I was taught that compromise was a big part of America's founders being able to hammer out an agreement to form a government.
Let's pretend that you leftists, and I, really have the power to negotiate. For this discussion, let's say that we have the power to make a deal. Let's see if we can.
I will agree to allow liberal government to take over the American health care industry. You liberals can give health care coverage to every single person that draws a breath in America. You can crush the insurance companies under your feet. You can restrict what doctors can earn and go ahead, feel free to demonize doctors and accuse them of doing phony surgeries on kids for money. Go ahead and tax small business right into oblivion to pay for sex changes and mental health therapy and boob jobs. Unleash Trial Lawyers to run rough-shod over medical care providers, just do it!
What do I want for agreeing to this? End abortion. That's right, stop killing babies. Make abortion legal only for the life of mom, or rape or incest, since those 400 out of 1.5 million abortions each year are what you liberals always point too. I don't agree that babies should be executed because their fathers are criminals, but to save three thousand lives every single day, I guess I'll have to compromise.
Under the new health care reality, I know that I'll be asked to die early, for the betterment of mankind and all. When I reach seventy, and told that I am not worth the treatment I need, hey folks, I'll go quietly. I'll gladly die early to save those babies. Jesus said, "greater love hath no man, than to lay down his life for another."
Well, do we have a deal? This should be an easy deal for you liberals, you not only get to takeover a huge part of the American economy, but you'll actually save lives.
You folks on the right may worry that the health care takeover will severely damage the Republic. I agree that it will, but, if we could truly show respect for life, and save 50 million babies in the next forty years instead of murdering them, I think God would honor our respect for life, and Bless us in spite of our stupidity.
You've never had God Bless you when you're a dummy?
When our government, and our citizens have so little respect for life, we'll not succeed regardless how brilliant we think we are.
Energy and the environment:
I will agree to let you on the left go nuts with all your green energy. Build those windmills, slap a solar panel on every house in America. I'll agree to wear a coat in my house in the winter, and sweat like crazy in my home in the Summer. I'll drive your union produced golf-carts, and only use one square of toliet paper when I wipe my backside. I'll hug a tree each and every day. You can show Al Gore's movie to every school kid in America, and hell, you can even call it Science if you want. I'll watch a tiny little television, ride on public transit and let the homeless barf on me, I'll do it all baby.
What do I want? For the above, I want you liberals to get off the backs of the oil companies. Let them drill for American oil. Quit taxing the oil companies silly, and cut back regulations. Build nuclear energy plants now, and use our coal reserves.
This should appeal to both sides, because it will only take a short while before we see which side can deliver the energy.
Well, do we have a deal?