Dr Chapstick And The Magic Money

Are you a third world petty dictator? Do you hate the United States? Do you wish someone would put the infidel Americans in their place? Your troubles are over, introducing, Dr. Chapstick, the new American President that hates the USA as much as you do.

Feeling bad that your country lost the Cold War? No Worries, Dr. Chapstick to the rescue. He'll make your country feel better by denying that the evil Americans won anything. And, while the global butt kisser is at it, he'll agree to disarm on a hand shake.

Dr. Chapstick uses only industrial strength Chapstick, made from the bones of our future generations. Chapstick made with wealth, forever stolen, by the state.

Are you a terrorist organization and feeling under appreciated by the USA? No worries...Dr. Chapstick to the rescue. He'll proclaim his Muslim roots, and bad-mouth the evil American people. Then he'll sooth your hurt feelings with generous doses of American taxpayer dollars.

Or, if you are a creepy and evil dictator from Central America, and you want to rant and rave against America for almost an hour, you'll get no rebuttal from Dr. Chapstick. Hopey Change will merely point out how it wasn't "his" fault, then lament how awful those white folks in the USA really are.

The Magic Money.

The first thing Hopey Change and the Democrat party did upon seizing power was to create the largest slush fund in world history, almost 800 billion dollars. This fund is now ready for political payoffs galore. (You say stimulus, I say slush fund)

Are you a university professor at a small Detroit college in need of cash? Your worries are over. Just get more people to vote Democrat than actually live in your town, and whammo! Dr. Chapstick to the rescue with millions of dollars, stolen from the taxpayers, for you to study drunken Chinese hookers! How sweet it is!

Dr. Chapstick to the rescue in Iowa, to pay off Senator Tom Harkin, millions to study why pigs smell. Millions to San Fransisco to protect a mouse. 3.1 billion to one Ohio Congresswoman to get her support for Nazi Pelousi's horrible Cap and Tax bill. Hey, when you are Dr. Chapstick, 3.1 billion for one vote is nothing! Your grandkids can afford it, so stop your bitchin'!

Senator Ben Nelson will be in a good position for extra doses of Chapstick. Ben sold out way too cheap in approving the slush fund (stimulus) earlier this year. C'mon Ben! Let Dr. Chapstick do his thing. How could you let that one Congresswoman in Ohio get 3.1 billion for her one vote, and yet you caved for a few measly million?

Here are some ideas Ben, that others, who know how Dr. Chapstick works, used successfully to get their individual bacon from the slaughtering of the Federal Pig.

Since 1990, the reprehensible and foul Congressman John Murtha, a darling of the American left, has siphoned over 150 million for an airport that basically services...John Murtha. Murtha knows how to use Dr. Chapstick and all that magic money. Magic, because Hopey Change can get this money from nowhere. Dr. Chapstick can pick the pockets of yet unborn citizens for his pleasure. John Murtha just got another million bucks of your grandkids money for his airport. Gosh, we're nice people.

Woodward Oklahoma is due to get 1.15 million to build a guardrail for a lake that does not exist. Congrats Woodward.

Madison County Illinois will be spending $173,824 of your grandkids money to weatherize EIGHT pickups! Dr. Chapstick, what a guy! You small business people that have to work extra to pay your tax bill, take heart. Madison county really needs these special pickups!

With unemployment at nearly 20% in much of Michigan because of years of abuse by wacky Democrats, the Governor of Michigan will spend over five hundred thousand of your dollars to restore Ypsilanti Freighthouse to develop "children's yoga."

Road signs popping up all over America at a cost of $300 each are proclaiming that Stimulus money (Dr. Chapstick's Slush Fund) is going to be spent. In Illinois, these signs alone are going to cost in excess of $150,000 bucks. How many payoffs are going on in Illinois?

In Macomb, Illinois, $643,945 is going to be spend on a parking lot at government housing that the residents don't want. Said one resident, "We like the grass, we have enough pavement around here already."

In Colorado, just yesterday, I saw a newly erected Dr. Chapstick slush fund sign on I-76, on a road that was completed over a year ago! I guess the new funds are being used for the two CDOT workers to wash road signs.

More from Illinois, payoff and slush fund capitol of the world, over one million bucks, stolen from our future, will be used to study three hundred residents already living on the government teat. Lets spend a million bucks to "study" to see if these welfare folks will be happier living for free in "greener" government housing. The hell with finding them jobs, or getting them out of public housing, lets blow a million to try and make them happier. My, aren't we nice?

No Chapstick for you!

Now if you are Christian, there is no Chapstick for you.

If you are a small businesswoman, trying to make your business work, the heck with you. No love for the small businessman, in fact, the Democrats want more from you, so get busy!

We need no stinking white construction workers 'round here mister.

Remember Robert Reich, assuring the leftists' Senators that none of this slush fund would end up in the hands of white construction workers? And here you thought electing Hopey Change would bring about racial harmony.

I could go on for hours. Nantucket, MA, spending $875,000 bucks a mile for a jogging path, over five miles worth. Certainly you can see the urgency here, we need to steal money from our kids for this jogging path!

Yale University will receive of six hundred grand to study, get this, the effects of diet and exercise on obesity. I kid you not.

The truth here is that none of this is funny, it is criminal. These politicians, that voted for, approved and engaged in this travesty, should be in jail. Kenneth Lay of ENRON, and Bernie Madoff are mere punks compared to the runaway Democrat party, and the assault on America and American small business they have effected.

Obama is hurting America on purpose. The more people he can get on unemployment right now, the more people he can get on food stamps, the more these sicko Democrats will push the urgency of Socialized medicine.

This is an evil bunch.