Tax 'Em All

Mr. Obama needs cash folks, lots of cash. There are Obama worshippers waiting for their messiah to deliver. You know, free health care, free mortgage payments, free child care, and free education, basically free everything.

As most of us conservatives know, in fact we learned it along time ago, there ain't no free lunch. That doesn't stop the Marxist/Democrat party. They have made promises to just about everybody. I remember one hysterical Obama worshipper just before the election who claimed that Obama was going to pay her mortgage, among other things, and she really believed it!

I want to help. We all know the Marxist/Democrat theology of gutting businesses, and destroying self-reliance, but there are many tax sources out there that the new messiah and his gang of thieves never consider. They only have their eyes fixed on "Big Oil" and "Big Tobacco" and "Big Timber". So let's help.

New Taxes that the Obama Marxists can go after to pay off political promises.

1. Big Abortion. There are few industries that make money like America's Abortion Industry. Dr. George Tiller, dubbed Tiller the Baby Killer, "works" in Kansas, and collects about five grand for every baby he kills. Planned Parenthood abortion mills are building bigger and newer killing centers all over America. We need a new "Windfall Abortion Tax" so that the rest of America can share in this..."prosperity" of Abortion.

2. Big Hollyweird. It isn't "fair" that some Hollyweird weirdos get to make millions of dollars a movie, while the peons in Hollyweird make so little. The "stars" get to live in big houses, and have servants, and multitudes of cars and airplanes, while the poor folks in America suffer. A Useful Idiot Tax of Major Stars is just the right thing to do, to help their buddy and messiah, Obama, make his dream of a Marxist America a reality.

3. Big Education. This industry has been at the heart of the Marxist revolution for years. Commie lib professors have been indoctrinating our kids for decades with anti-American themes, and now they have their reward! These professors should no longer be insulated from the America they helped bring about. No more "tenure". We need the Ward Churchill Nutty Professor Tax. Tax professors at a much higher rate, so that they may fully participate in the Marxist America they helped bring about.

4. Big Porn. The Democrat Party has always embraced, supported, and defended the porn industry with a vigor they usually reserve for defending rapists, murderers or terrorists. It's all about free speech, as America spreads porn around the world. Fifty years ago, we sent missionaries and Bibles around the Globe, and the World loved us...now, we send filth, and the world hates us. Smart aren't we? Now that Big Porn makes more money each year than ABC,CBS, and NBC combined, we need the Paris Hilton Porn Star Tax. Who cares, what you do on camera, and to whom it gets spread, just pay the tax baby.

5. Big Media. Oh my, does Big Media need an enema, but until they get one, time for them to pay up. Big Media has turned into a propaganda machine that would have made Hitler drool. Never could the Nazi's have come up with the lies, distortions, half-truths, and omissions that our media came up with in their quest to ruin America as a super power. And since he felt something running up his leg when his messiah spoke, we need the Chris Matthews Media Whore tax, to let these self inflated egomaniacs share in the demise they worked so hard to accomplish.

6. Big Environmentalism. The green folks have been running around hysterically for years, like chicken little on Viagra. They want us all to live like the Taliban, except for themselves, of course. Al Goreand the like, fly around on expensive jets, and live high, while they ask you and I to sacrifice. No longer! We need the Algore Environmental Wacko Tax, so that these Earth worshippers can actually live the way they want you and me to live.

7. Big Politics. The politicians themselves are without a doubt the "Special Interest" in Washington. They live the life of Kings and Queens, and we Taxpayers lavish them with all sorts of goodies, at our expense of course, to keep them living the life of luxury. No more. We need The Beltway Political Hack Tax, to not only tax the wealth of the oligarchy, but to take away all those taxpayer money dogie bags they get.

8. Big Unions. Unions suck up allot wealth from the workers they are suppose to be representing. Union thug bosses live in mansions, while the rank and file get none of lavish life style they provide for their elite union bosses. We need the Mayor Daly Big Union Thug Tax to make certain that these union thugs earn no more money than a union carpenter. It's all about fairness, right?

9. Big Legal. This industry needs more taxation in the worst way. Enough of the two thousand dollar business suits. Lawyers have infected our government at the highest levels, and they never seem to tire of slapping more chains on us...in the name of legislation. We need the Big Lawyer Dog Tax. Every time a lawyer manipulates a stupid jury to award outlandish money claims, let the US Government swoop down and take most of the lawyers' share of the settlement. Give Lawyers and Judges the opportunity to live like the people they destroy.

10. Bath House Tax. Ah, yes, let us not forget our friends, the homosexuals. Regardless of how they opine as to discrimination, truth is, most homosexuals have nice incomes, and live just fine. However, we need the Harvey Milk Bath House Tax, and not just a tax, but many laws enacted to regulate theses Bath Houses. You sportsmen know how the government gets involved, so intimately, with hunting, fishing, and boating, etc., we need the same for Bath Houses. More Bath House regulation and taxation. Bath Houses permits, Bath House regulators, Bath House Inspectors, even Bath House Police. Maybe even a Bath House Czar on Mr. Obama's Cabinet. Barney Frank perhaps?

And...while we are at it, let's just come up with a new minimum wage. The minimum wage is a joke, something liberals come up with to reward the unions in their back pockets. Every time the minimum wage goes up, union members get a raise. So, let's come up with a real minimum wage, one that a family could actually exist on, how about forty grand a year? That's it, everybody gets forty grand a year, and all of our problems are solved, right?

Just trying to help.