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A Few Clouds ~ Feels like: 17°F Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2012 |
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The Non-Apology ApologyPosted Tuesday, February 24, 2009, at 2:44 PM
I know the title may be a little confusing but stay with me. Over the last dozen years or so we have seen a new phenomenom blossom, and that is the non-apology apology. Or in other words being able to say you are sorry without truly saying that you are sorry. It has appeared in a lot of different areas of life, mostly in politics, but we have also seen in sports, from business people, and most recently from a newspaper.
Last week the New York Post ran a cartoon depicting two police officers shooting a chimp dead and one cop saying to the other "Looks like we'll have to find someone else to write the Stimulus Bill". Those who looked closely saw it as a veiled attack on Obama and comparing him to a chimp which a lot of people found insulting and racist. I didn't care much for the cartoon because I thought it was just stupid. I don't like a lot of political cartoons and find most of them just unfunny so I don't tend to read them. But the cartoon isn't what struck me about the whole thing. What struck me was the the Post's non-apology apology. They stated in their newspaper that they were sorry if they had offended anyone. That my friends is not an apology, that's not even admitting that you have done something wrong. We see it everywhere we look, from the politician who got caught doing something stupid, to the baseball player getting caught using a banned substance. They aren't sorry for what they did, they are sorry they got caught doing what they were doing. And thus we have the non-apology apology. "I'm sorry if my actions were seen by some as insulting", "I want to apologize to any of my fans who are disappointed in my actions". They are not apologizing. Actually if you look closely they are almost taking shots at those people who actually take offense at what they have done. I'm sorry, seen by some; I want to apologize, any of my fans. A true apology is simple. I'm sorry, I screwed up, please forgive me. I'm sorry when I took this drug I wasn't thinking and I let down my fans. A true apology from the Post would have read closer to We apologize for putting this political cartoon in our paper. Our judge of character clearly failed us. The amazing thing about this country is that we want to forgive those who screwed up. My History classes are watching a video on the presidents from Cleveland to Taft (that's the time period we are on) and when Cleveland was running the first time the Republican smartly went after him for having an illegitimate child. If he had been a politician today Cleveland would have paid the mother hush mother and never admitted to it. Well, Cleveland went the other way and admitted to having a illegitimate child and begged for the country's forgiveness. The people not only forgave him they elected him President. Maybe one of these days we will see this nation actually apologize and mean it but until then we are stuck with the Non-apology Apology. Comments Showing comments in chronological order [Show most recent comments first] |
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I agree that the cartoon you mentioned is tasteless and offensive. I am not a fan of Obama, but I could easily choose an entertaining insult without the racial overtone.
The manipulation technique you speak of is one of many forms of verbal judo that is designed to make someone think they are getting thier way, when in fact you have conceded nothing. I have been thoroughly schooled in this area. Making an apology for your own actions and accepting responsibility for your actions is completely different than making an apology for another persons reaction to your actions. In fact, it is not an apology at all. You might as well said, "Sorry your so thin skinned, get over it".
I guess I look at it differently. I thought the cartoon was stupid but I guess I don't see the point of people getting upset and demanding an apology. If you don't like what a business is doing......stop doing business with them. Obviously Murdoch didn't find the cartoon offensive or he would have apologized for it. Instead he did what everyone else does, apologized for the fact that someone was offended.
The analysis of a non-apology is not the point in my opinion. What is the point of forcing someone to give a false apology for something they obviously are not sorry for. Even your buddy Grover's apology doesn't ring true to me, he wasn't sorry for having a child, he was sorry for getting caught.
Although I am clearly no great thinker.....I believe you can only ever really apologize for honest mistakes and errors. If you plan something out or try to cover it up later, how honest is an apology when forced by others. Only a spontaneous apology for a misdeed that you, yourself, perceive before called out on it can ever be a true apology.
Mike, I agree. One thing to keep in mind, considering the 'times,' is that when a person truly apologizes, someone sues him/her.
Just a thought.
Arley
G5 all you ever do every time you post is reinforce everyone's perception of your own bias, racism and inability to step outside your ideological straight jacket. Your posts offer nothing for people of reason and intelligence except to expose your own ignorance.
You rail against Liberals but do not have the intellectual honesty or courage to focus your keen intellect (not), on your precious Republicans. All the problems of the world, according to you, are caused by liberals and all the answers reside with the Republicans and so called conservatives.
You know what, you mind is gone my friend. You call Michael out with stupid comments like "It's arrogant to assume that only your values and perception of morality are accurate and true, and others diametrically opposed are false" yet you of all people seem to have all the answers for morality. I have never heard Michael state that he has "all the answers for morality" but I have sure seen you, in your infinite ignorance, state that "you seem to have all the answers for morality". You don't have any answers...you only have your out of date ideological dogma that has revealed nothing of value to anyone with intellectual balance, courage and honesty.
The world has left you behind and in your anger and confusion you lash out with hatred that exposes the dark underbelly of your soul. It is a pitiful sight to behold. Wear that badge with honor G5..you have certainly earned it.
G5, where in this blog did I ever rail against Republicans or conservatism? The only mention I made was discussing the Republicans attempt in an election over 100 years ago to discredit the Democratic candidate for President. It was not an attack it was an observation and frankly their rhyme they came up to go after him was brilliant. But apparently I have offended you and for that I apologize ... hey looky there a Non-apology apology.
Rupert Murdoch, by the way, did come out and apologize honestly for what happened. I was referring to the editors at the New York Post that in apologizing were also defending their actions.
As for Cleveland, no he wasn't apologizing for having the child, that is true, what he was apologizing for however was hiding the fact he had an illegitmate child.
Mike,
I actually agree with you on the trend of the "non-apology" apology. I have also noticed another disturbing and more often disruptive trend.
I don't have a fancy name for it but it's basically just people taking things wrong, especially things they hold dear and believe in whenever someone puts something on paper or says it.
I think the people at the newspaper probably know that Obama DIDN'T write the stimulus, as congress did and the fact that they portrayed those who did as chimps/monkeys(I know the difference) is just hillarious..
What it really is saying is as screwed up as this stimulus really is for what it should be... a monkey could have written it! Liberals have used this oportunity to twist something that easy to twist to come to the defense of their dear El Presidente, and try to take heat off him for presiding over one the most fiscally unsound presidential startups EVER!
The only problem now with using a monkey(because the are kinda like humans, but incapable of higher thought) is that know we have a black president and anytime we want to use a monkey as an analogy for someone doing something that should have been so simple a monkey could have done...we can't because of idiot liberals.
Yes, it was very idiotic of you liberals to assume that the post would be so stupid and ignorant as to actually think it would be okay to partray the black president as a monkey..
You people are shockingly rude, ignorant and distasteful. you will take anything you can in the media and the world and twist it for your own good, and that includes the truth as usual.
Now, if this cartoon would have had the cops shooting a monkey and it said, "oh great, now who's going to run the country?" That would have directly made reference to the president. But it DID NOT!
Equally as pheasible, that cartoon could have said, "oh great, now who's going to win the oscar for best actor?" I would have thought...oh they must maeking an ananlogy to the fact that Sean Penn is an airhead and a chimp could have easily done his job last year.
But, that's not the way you liberals think is it? Maybe it's time you start figuring things out for yourself instead of reading the Huffington Post and then coming hear and spreading your lies and hate.
Good luck on telling me how stupid and ignorant I am. I know a proper analogy when I see one.
Justin76,
We don't have to tell you how stupid and ignorant you are. You did a fine job of that youself.
I am with you Justin.
I get the Huffington Post, (I really don't want it) just to know what the loonies are up to.
G5, thanks for your comments of sanity and reason. The NAACP and NOW are hacks for the leftists, they don't represent women or blacks, except leftist women and leftist blacks. You are so right about "right" blacks. If we on the right, treated conservative blacks the way the left does, they'd say we were racists.
But we conservatives know that liberals are hypocritical, because liberalism demands hypocrisy. We get use to it, but at times, it gets very old.
Oh boy, another liberal braveheart that thinks he and the rest of the country have "progressed" beyond all us here in sleepy Nebraska. Kurt, I hate to tell you. but you're vocal minority is a band of idiots that only take everything they can out of context to further their liberal point.
I'm not sure you're even smart enough to understand the cartoon, you just jumped on here to come to Mike's defense since his idea backfired.
What an idea in the first place. Mike didn't even come up with this story, the mainstream media hacks did. Mike just jumped on the "loose nuts" band wagon. I know you hate Rush Limbaugh, but he is so right to call them the "drive-by" media.
These people only apologized because the media hacks made them. They know they didn't do anything wrong.
You better watch out Mike, I might decide on day to play dumb and find something you right truly offensive instead of just maddening and turn you into some groups somewhere....oh wait, that only works if you are a liberal. They don't care if liberal print or say damamging things, only when conservatives do it. Nevermind.
Wow simply amazing even when I make an attempt to write a non-politicial, non-ideological blog my words get completely twisted to read something they are not by justin and sam.
But if you want to go down the hypocritical path lets go. Let's talk about the good pastor from Colorado who hates everything gay, but has now been caught TWICE in gay relationships. I am of course talking about Haggard.
Or the Senator from Florida who wrote countless bills protecting children from child molesters turning out to be one himself. I guess he wrote those bill about himself.
Or how about the Senator from Minnesota who was a huge activist in the moral majority crowd and yet apparently liked to pick up men in the restroom stall at the airport ... don't tell me about wide stances.
I only point these out because Justin apparently thinks the Republican Party has a stake in morality and none of his people are hypocritical. I know the Democratic Party has issues and hypocrisy all it's own. I admit to that. All I will say to Justin is don't throw mud unless you know your house (Republican Party) is clean.
And Justin? Could you restate that last paragraph. I've read it three times and have no clue as to what you are talking about.
By the way, I know I have been painted as getting my cues from two posters on here as getting my talking points (something exclusively from the Republican Party) from Huffington Post. That would be nice ... if I had ever even been on that website.
Okay that being said back to the original post of the non-apology apology.
Kurt, I just don't understand, why you are looking for "high fives" for your beliefs on a website? People say what they believe and not wait to see who is "open minded", "supports my thoughts", "disses my thoughts" etc.. It is like you want credit for thinking opposite then many of the posters here and I say why do you care. To me sometimes the masses are right, sometimes they are wrong, I figure out my stance and sometimes I fall in the masses and other times I don't, who cares. Many here have opposing/ranging views, i don't whine about it, i state what i state, they state what they state, and i engage with people on it that i want and let the others be...so quit your whining and stick to the topic instead of attempting to attack others posts.
Props to : G5 and Justin76
By the way since there seems to be some confusion about what liberalism is here's a quote from JFK:
"...if by liberal they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people - their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their liberties...if that is what they mean by a 'liberal' then I am proud to be a liberal."
As am I.
Justin,
Before your start saying that "I'm not sure you're even smart enough to understand the cartoon, you just jumped on here to come to Mike's defense since his idea backfired", you better reread your post. It really doesn't make much sense.
I am not here to defend anyone, only to try and help people understand the hypocricy of putting all the blame on the so called "liberals" without turning a skeptical eye on the politicians and their media pundits on the radical right. The truth lies somewhere in between but many of you, for whatever reason, fail to recognize that the radical right is no more relevant than the radical left. The radical right is no more moral and no less responsible for this mess than those that you defend on the fringes of the so called conservative movement. By the way, the true conservatives, who I actually have some admiration for, have sold out to the radical fringes of the Republican party for the last 25 years. This is the Republican party of the big spenders,(remember when the Regan administration said that "deficits don't matter?), foreign expansion, and those trying to make "moral" decisions for individuals when true conservatives believe that you cannot legislate morality. Remember the Teri Scharivo fiasco?
I can honor and accept well thought out positions from either the left or right but I cannot tolerate or take seriously anyone, from the left or right, that simply buy into political dogma and shape all responses from within the rose colored glass of whatever ideology you prescribe to. Try to think independently, don't believe what pundits say without verifying their statements from other sources than Fox News or MSNBC. In the famous words of G5...don't be a sheeple.
A REAL APOLOGY,
Justin76...I sincerely apologize for my short sarcastic comment above. I haven't felt good about it since it was posted and hope that you will accept my apology. You did not deserve to bear the brunt of my frustration.
Mike, that is not a definition of liberalism, it was excerpt from a speech. You could insert the word "dork" or "genius" in there and it would still make sense.
Does liberalism also look after the rights, liberties, and welfare of unborn babies?
You seem to want to think that as a conservative I or (we) don't care about these things as well. It's kind of insulting to me that you think just because I tend to side with republicans that I must be some stuffy rich tycoon that would rather pay my servants $.50 a day.
My last paragraph was a bad attempt at some sarcasm as I guess it harder to put in print than say it. I was merely writing that I would do to you as you and the drive by media have recently done, which is take something WAY out of context, apply your own conclusion(even though you know it's worng), then make political hay out it because it's racially sensitive and you know you'll be in the right, and it will forced an un-needed appology from someone and then you'll ultimatley get to thump them for an "unapologetic apology." Does THAT make sense?
I'm just pointing out that anyone can do that, but it's not my thing. I'd rather just let people have the freedom they are granted by the constitution and not get wrapped up in this political correctness that is nothing but censorship these days.
I'm not even sure what type of person it takes to make these false acusations anyway. I grew up in a household that was non-religious, even though I finally found God later in life. I was taught that all men are created equal. I was taught that "N" words were worse than cuss words, and to NEVER EVER EVER discriminate against people.
Now, do I have any black friends? No. Do I know black people? Yes. Do I know what it's like to be black? No, how could I? I'd like to think that they can can look at me and see that I don't care what color they are. It has never meant anything to me and never will.
Unfortunately I can't speak for everyone else in this country.
You stated you didn't write on a political issue..."Those who looked closely saw it as a veiled attack on Obama and comparing him to a chimp which a lot of people found insulting and racist." -but I took that as another stab at anyone who wants to speak out against irresponsible government spending.
So, because we have a black president does that mean we can't critisize him either? I mean, OBVIOUSLY we can't even critisize congress without being called racist, so where is OUR free speech?
Oh yeah, and am I to take that since I'm against gay marriage and abortion I am also a closet homosexual that wants to marry and man and then become and abortion doctor? I'm not a homophobe either, in fact I've gone to bat in the defense of homosexual friends and people I really care about to the point of losing friends over it. But I cannot agree with gay marriage. I don't care if someone's gay, I don't like the deviency of it, but it doesn't make you less than human.
As a Christian I cannot accept that marriage could ever be anything other than a man and a woman. I know your topic didn't include this, but you did bring it up.
Also, please don't call me a republican. I may sometimes still be clinging to the dillution that republicans may still be conservatives. I know this is not entirely true. There are some out there, just as there are good ol Blue Dog Dems that are conservatives. I wish we could just branch off start our own party. We could call it the Real Party.
We would be social and fiscal conservatives that believe in limited government and the power of the free market. We would adhere to a strict no cooruption policy and there would be no hypocrisy. That will never happen.
I must say, that I think my time spreading the conservative word here is going to have to be reduced. I need to focus my efforts on getting the word out to my senators and congressmen about the direction of the new party and what the small, hard working, American family man thinks would work to make this country great.
-"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country?"- also JFK
....hardly sounds like liberals today; must have been a different kind of liberal back then.
Okay once again you jump all over me for putting words to what you have written which aren't there (of course what the words you end up claiming that I said you said isn't even remotely close to the truth. You read what you want to read and then want everyone else to believe that you are telling the truth when all they have to do is scroll up to see what I actually wrote) and then you put words to what I write.
In my post I never said that quote was a definition. It's a statement of what John F. Kennedy believed in his mind was liberalism. I happen to agree with him. Also no where in that post did I claim that conservatives didn't have the same values. I was clearly just giving an example of what liberalism is.
If you want to misquote me that's fine, but don't be suprised when I choose to correct you.
Misquote? I hit Ctrl+C from YOUR statements and then Ctrl+V. How is that misquoting what you wrote? I didn't even retype it with my own fingers. Talk about backtracking. Geez.
I gotta admit Mike, it's fun messing with you, almost addictive. Everytime I try to point something out you try to weasel out of it somehow. Like how you said the statement,
""Those who looked closely saw it as a veiled attack on Obama and comparing him to a chimp which a lot of people found insulting and racist.""
was not politically charged. What makes it political to me is the fact that it's about Obama, the stimulus, racism, and an political attack on the prez. When in fact it was a poke at congress, but you should know that.
Don't get mad just when someone like jumps in here to keep your kooky stories in check. There are a lot people out there hyping up stuff that doesn't need to be hyped up. A lot of stuff that needs to be countered as some people take their public forums for granted to try to to bamboozle others into buying into shabby ideas and fasle hope.
You are the one who chose to do a blog on a newspaper in a primarily conservative area with a mostly conservative readers. You seem to want to insinuate that if we "hicks" and "hayseed" don't see the world through your eyes means we're behind the times and haven't caught up to the progressive world you live in. Well, that's insulting as hell to me. I've lived in your world, and I don't like the work ethic, the politics, or the state of mind. I like it here in Nebraska, specifically SW NE where we still generally have good work ethic and morals.
I like our chances in the world better if there is ever another stock market crash/depression just like in '29. While the liberals and progressives are standing around bitching about the government and waiting for the welfare checks to come and the bailout money, my fellow Nebraskans and I will be out working our tails off, for the few jobs left to help pick this country back up and dust it off.
Mike, that is not a definition of liberalism
Those are your words that is what I was referring to.
I never even mentioned the veiled attack theme you are running with.
And then you put more words in my mouth. I challenge you to show me where in ANY of my columns I have ever called anyone in SW Nebraska a hick or hayseed or even using your word where I insinuated it.
And Justin apparently you haven't been paying attention the last year because we have already had our crash. It was in October. We had losses that month that made the crash of 29 look like a small dip.
And finally I don't what's funnier, that you think you get to me (this is just a hobby I have to write these blogs I don't take what you call me or call those who agree with me seriously) or ... no that's all I got it's pretty funny that you think I get worked up over what you say.
The only reason I respond to you is to clear up what you say I have said (and before you say it no I am not talking about ""Those who looked closely saw it as a veiled attack on Obama and comparing him to a chimp which a lot of people found insulting and racist."" I'm talking about your claims that I haved called anyone any kind of name, that seems to be more of you thing to do)so that way people know the truth about what I have said instead of your revision of what I have said.